【10/10】19.08.07 如果说有人教会了我心痛如死灰，这个人一定是小十。我爱上圣人，也是从他开始。 九百岁的timelord，双眼含泪诉说恐惧，目光坚毅面对恶魔。孤身反抗自己的所有族人，挺身而出守护一群蝼蚁。Doctor不会拿起枪，是原则。面对死亡，再恐惧痛苦，自身性命也无法胜过原则，但为了人类，可以。舍命哪怕只换回一只蝼蚁？他捶胸顿足，眼中全是泪水和不甘，却还是轻声说：It's my honor. I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE. SO MUCH MORE. 你早知天命不可违，可你是否知道，这天命，其实是你自己。 不得不佩服RTD笔力，起承转合，伏笔暗线，逐渐汇集于意外之点，最后犹如一颗尖钻破碎玻璃世界，惊心动魄一声巨响，漫天碎光谱成小十最后的圣人挽歌。 Two thousand and five, January the first. 所有人都享受着各自的happy ending。而从不缺伴的timelord，新年雪夜，在重生的剧痛中挣扎着回到蓝盒子，独自面对Doctor注定孤独又心碎的宿命。一声没有听众的，I don't wanna go. 这个结尾有着浓重的史诗感，如同一场交响乐，从之前几集便开始铺垫，情绪渐浓，最终在此走向高潮，宏大且悲壮。 完美的故事，完美的情绪，完美的配乐。这完美的结局是一整个团队的告别。离别伤感，不只从DT的台词和眼睛中溢出，还浸透在每一块道具，每一个镜头，每一帧画面里。 年少时爱魔法特，爱他刻意精心拗就的脑洞，追求那一瞬间醍醐灌顶顿悟的快感。后来再看，就慢慢品出RTD的好，自然，老练，大局之下埋细碎包袱，平衡厚重，浑然一体，震动心弦，每一句台词都是人物在泣血。无需堆砌几千几亿年的重量来取巧，以人类做衡也短短的数载，依旧能写成凡人难以承受的史诗悲情。 大概是时候重刷DW了。突然想到，我16年买的DT全集DVD还没开。 The End of Time 10周年重映。 有生之年在大荧幕看到了DW，和五年前抱着手机腾讯视频170M高糊看的我，哭得一样大声。 实不相瞒，从开头10th Doctor混剪开始，我就鼻酸了。然后旧版片头和配乐猝不及防开始，电影院的视觉声效让我仿佛真的置身于时空穿越，金色梭型logo一出，尖锐的配乐拖着尾音戛然而止，脑海深处记忆翻涌，我毫无预兆地泪流满面。 正片播完后，紧接着是DT最近录的访谈。他带着浅浅的皱纹和浓密的大胡子，谈着十年前。我看着他明亮的大眼睛，分明觉得这个男人一点也没有变。 可惜访谈放到一半电影院就切了，全场同时发出极度失望的声音。我回头，放映厅都坐满了，从白发苍苍的老人，到几岁的孩童。 时光匆匆，博士和whovian都在变老，孩子们在长大。新的一代会如何回望，他们又会烙上怎样的成长记忆？ 走出电影院等公交时，旁边一小哥给我递纸，他眼圈也是红的，说：He's my Doctor too. 一瞬间我哭得更凶了。 小十，my Doctor，已经走了十年了。

Oh, he loves playing with Earth girls. DOCTOR: You're a genius. You're stone cold brilliant, you are. I swear, you really are. But you could be so much more. You could be beautiful. With a mind like that, we could travel the stars. It would be my honour. Because you don't need to own the universe, just see it. To have the privilege of seeing the whole of time and space. That's ownership enough. MASTER: Would it stop, then? The noise in my head? DOCTOR: I can help. MASTER: I don't know what I'd be without that noise. DOCTOR: I wonder what I'd be, without you. DOCTOR: I'm older than you. WILF: Get away. DOCTOR: I'm nine hundred and six. WILF: Nine hundred years. We must look like insects to you. DOCTOR: I think you look like giants. And that's how the Master started. lt's not like I'm an inocet. l've taken lives. I got worse. I got clever, manipulated people into taking their own. Sometimes I think a Time Lord lives too long. I can't. I just can't. That's an order, Doctor. Take the gun. You take the gun and save your life. And please don't die. You're the most wonderful man and I don't want you to die. DOCTOR: There's an old Earth saying, Captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom, and consolation to the soul in times of need. ADDAMS: What's that, then? DOCTOR: Allons-y! DOCTOR: Get out of the way. The link is broken. Back into the Time War, Rassilon. Back into hell. RASSILON: You'll die with me, Doctor. DOCTOR: I know. MASTER: Get out of the way. You did this to me! All of my life! You made me! One! Two! Three! Four! WILF: Look, just leave me. DOCTOR: Okay, right then, I will. Because you had to go in there, didn't you? You had to go and get stuck, oh yes. Because that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me all this time. WILF: No really, just leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor. I've had my time. DOCTOR: Well, exactly. Look at you. Not remotely important. But me? I could do so much more. So much more! But this is what I get. My reward. And it's not fair! Oh. Oh. I've lived too long. WILF: No. No, no, please, please don't. No, don't! Please don't! Please! DOCTOR: Wilfred, it's my honour. DOCTOR: Was she happy in the end? VERITY: Yes. Yes, she was. Were you? I just wanted to give you this. Wedding present. Thing is, I never carry money, so I just popped back in time, borrowed a quid off a really lovely man. Geoffrey Noble, his name was. Have it, he said. Have that on me. DOCTOR: And you. What year is this? ROSE: Blimey, how much have you had? 2005, January the first. DOCTOR: 2005. Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year. ROSE: Yeah? See you. We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you toyour sleep. This song is ending, but the story never ends. I don't want to go.

小十是我的第一位博士，也是我最爱的博士。因为这个角色，我爱上了一部剧。 他是最后的时间领主， 一个无家可归的漫游者， 一位孤独的神灵。 从点开新版第二季的那一刻起，就被他深深吸引。我脑海中的博士印象基本都由小十塑造。所有的浪漫、疯狂都从他开始，所有精彩绝伦的旅程也由他启航。 他曾经骑着白马从时间窗口冲进18世纪，只为救一个相信他的女孩。他曾燃烧了一颗恒星，来和分隔在宇宙另一边的Rose说一声告别。因为Donna不喜欢圣诞节，他为她变出一场漫天飞雪。他在泰坦尼克号上短暂邂逅了一个女孩，最后只能亲吻她的幻影，目送她化为星尘远去。 他如此喜欢人类，以至于自己变成人类时居然遗忘了过去。他生命中最重要的人似乎从来不会停留片刻。他们相遇，然后告别，周而复始，直到他厌倦了这个循环。“人们曾和我一起旅行，我已经失去了他们，所有人”。所以遇见Christian时，他拒绝了她的请求，只带着一段美好的记忆转身离去。注定的结局在很久以前就被揭晓，抗争失败后他只能接受，直面自己最后的战役。 《时间尽头》上的小十不再蹦来蹦去。他表现得如此安静，眼睛里却透出深深的忧伤与绝望。夺去他生命的四下不是法师的敲击，也不是时间领主的心跳，只是一个老人无助的敲门声。决定牺牲自己之前，他愤怒不已。“我还能做这么多，可这就是我的下场，我的回报，这不公平。”可是所谓的宿命，也是他自己做出的选择。他最终平静下来，走进了另一扇门，淡淡地说“这是我的荣幸”。 生命的最后，他乘着Tardis，穿越时间与空间，向朋友们告别。大部分同伴都收获了一个圆满的结局。博士默默注视着他们，欣慰，又带着隐隐的失落。“他们没有和我在一起，但他们最终找到了幸福”。 他去参加了Donna的婚礼。初见的时候，她一身婚纱。她落进Tardis，转过头来，他们的故事由此开始。告别的时候，她还是一身婚纱。只是这一次，他们的目光并未交汇。 他见到了新年前夜的Rose。那时他们的故事还未曾开始。她祝他新年快乐，微笑着说“回见”，却不知角落中的这位陌生人爱了她一生，来向她做最后一次告别。 他有那么多的朋友，最后还是孤独死去。 Cause you were my doctor. To days to come. All my love to long ago. 再见，我的小十。 再见，我的博士。 这首歌结束了，但你的传奇永不落幕。

Please，let me help you You are burning up your own life force some new man goes sauntering away And I am dead生生如此，有人出生，新的脸庞，相爱和离别，但我与这一切无关 She's got him She is making do Aren't we all?我们难道不是吗？ Because you don't need to own the universe just see it To have the privilege of seeing the whole of time and space That's ownership enough客亦知夫水与月乎？逝者如斯，而未尝往也；盈虚者如彼，而卒莫消长也。盖将自其变者而观之，则天地曾不能以一瞬；自其不变者而观之，则物与我皆无尽也，而又何羡乎!且夫天地之间，物各有主,苟非吾之所有，虽一毫而莫取。惟江上之清风，与山间之明月，耳得之而为声，目遇之而成色，取之无禁，用之不竭，是造物者之无尽藏也，而吾与子之所共适。” Allon sy出发 Galllifrey falls this song is ending but the story never ends

博士重生了……我的天好催泪，所有人都有了自己的幸福，但博士依然是一个人，孤独的离去……我要缓缓再看下一任

个人给自己捅刀子时间:

所以人都将老去，只有他一个人只能永远在时间中穿梭，永远不能停下他重生之前去看了他以前所有的朋友，他们都有了自己的生活，总是没有人为博士停下。相反，博士也不能为他人停下，一旦他停下来了脚步，他就会被无尽的死亡和孤独还有自负所淹没……有那么多人爱过他，却没有人愿意放弃一切跟他在一起，其实也没有人会这样，大家有自己的生活，没有人会为一个永生的人花费自己的时间，博士来不及和所有人告别，所以常常使人遗憾，伟大的悲剧比俗套的大团圆结局更经典也更令人铭记，但对于故事中的人来说，也许还是会选择后者。螺丝终究还是他生命中的插曲，她说过要和他永远旅行，但最后还是无奈的选择和自己的父母安稳的过日子，玛莎暗恋过博士以为自己很爱他，但其实发现自己迷失了自我，多娜也因为各种原因离去了（我先不剧透了）。

可怜的博士，可怜的小10，有过那么多朋友，最后还是无声无息的离开了