小村民日记

▍作为电影的故乡，法国可谓人才济济，罗伯特·布列松Robert Bresson便是其中一位。他不仅是法国电影史上粉丝最多的人，也被誉为“法国最受尊敬的导演”，还是塔可夫斯基的偶像。二战期间，布列松曾在德国纳粹的集中营里待过一年，原本是一名画家和摄影师，转行做导演后，他的作品一直以“少而精”著称，个性孤傲，风格简约，主题多以哲学性和天主教思想为主。

▍简单来讲，布列松的电影涵盖以下特点：

极简主义，擅长镜头叙事；

注重电影的文学性，常以画外音、书信、日记等结构形式来体现电影的文本价值（影像的写作）；

用疏离和客观的态度呈现日常生活状态，在戏剧的框架下表现哲学议题；

极其注重声音细节（用他自己的话说：影像和声音应以接力方式轮流运作）；

用故事和画面替代夸张的表演（“人类真正的内心是看不见的”）

▍他的第一部长片《罪恶天使》是法国还在德军占领的背景下完成的，讲述了一个修女试图从精神上拯救一名妓女的故事，可看做今天要介绍的《乡村牧师日记》的前奏，从此他也被冠以“天主教导演”之衔。

▍《乡村教师日记》在故事内容上和《罪恶天使》有相同之处，“牧师”和“修女”都曾竭尽全力去拯救他人，最终他们也都走向了死亡。《乡村牧师日记》延续了《罪恶天使》的压抑，以不加雕饰的画面、悲观的宗教氛围和面无表情的表演方式奠定了布列松的电影哲学和拍摄方式。

▍神父初到村庄，每天坚持写日记，记录平凡的点点滴滴。他有严重的胃病，不吃肉类和蔬菜，加了很多糖的酒、浸泡过酒的发硬的面包和一些水果是他保持头脑清晰和精神强大的简单饮食。他满怀热忱，却被村庄里的孤苦和冰冷予以打击，开始不断地自我否定和怀疑。他渴望像托西教士所说的那样：希望被教民们所拥护和爱戴，被人们所尊敬和服从，每天保守秩序，但现实如同他日记里所描述的那样让人悲观。

▍在布道课上，自称喜欢他虔诚忠实又迷人的眼睛的塞拉法特，即使牧师对他期望很高，却对他很不友善。伯爵家的家庭教师路易斯是每天来做弥撒的人，因为伯爵女儿的羞辱而掩面哭泣，但他却无能为力。老法布赖伽斯不肯为妻子的葬礼花钱，却希望神父给死去的妻子一个体面的下葬。为他诊治的老医生戴尔本德在树林中死去，“上帝是公平的审判者，我们终究要挣扎着面对”似乎预示着年轻牧师所要面对的境遇。他想借助伯爵的影响力和钱财来组建年轻人俱乐部和运动会，但这个意愿被伯爵一再推迟。村庄里的人们，浅薄、功利、没有人会关心自己的灵魂是否被拯救，这让牧师感到徒劳无功、迷茫和无助。

▍好在伯爵夫人是唯一得到年轻牧师所开解的人，她沉浸在丧子的痛苦中难以纾解，对女儿的反叛和丈夫的不忠漠不关心，但是她前所未有的平静是用死亡换来的。死亡是一件困难的事，特别是为了尊严，和不虔诚的人打了多年的交道，遭到无理的羞辱，打起精神来努力奋斗又意义何在？我们并没有发明爱，上帝就是爱，在爱的世界里有它自己的规则，上帝的世界就是我们所生活的世界，如果上帝是哲学家或异教徒的话，我们的悲惨会让他下来吗？每个人都在影响着别人，如果这个世界有某个角落是上帝管不到的话，即使每分钟都有死亡的威胁，伯爵夫人还是会义无反顾带着她的儿子去那里，在这场“祝福”与“超脱”的对话中，施与者给授予者自己没有的东西，这是一件多么的滑稽的事情。

▍在这个无聊刻板毫无生气的村庄里，年轻牧师有着简单的诉求，寻求健康和精神上的平衡，领用圣餐和基督所赐的恩惠，用怜悯和仁爱，去感化教民，成为一方教区的领袖。然而最简单的事情往往最不容易，对自己像关在瓶子里的黄蜂一样严格和挑剔，拯救他人的灵魂变成了寻求自我救赎的途径，最终导致自我封闭，布道者自己的迷茫和痛苦通过死亡来终结。一个灵魂的等待，彷徨，绝望；另一个灵魂的发现，接近，拯救。从这种绝望的气息中我们可以得知导演布列松在人类的交流在现代社会中被断绝，自我的存在价值，生活的本质以及无意义的循环这些哲学命题的思考和探索。

▍太多人的心被现实磨出了茧子，或许如伯爵夫人所说，这是历经长久的羞辱和失望后一种必然的反应，一种保护自己的方式，然而因为这层充满世故的茧子，使得自己与“爱”之间有了再也触摸不到的距离。有人是太讲求实际，就像那个不想为妻子办好一点葬礼的村民，他生活富裕，但不想为此多出钱，对妻子的情分和对死者的尊敬被置于金钱之下；有人是勇气经过长时间的销磨后枯竭，从一筹莫展的生活前彻底死心和退却，就像医生；有人是被恶意与冷漠席卷而去，周围的“恶”唤起了心中的恶劣，最终自己也成了同盟者和敌意深重的人，就如同伯爵和他的女儿。痛苦能够摧毁一个人，也能够孕育出高贵、纯洁的灵魂，因为深刻的痛苦总是能和深刻的爱和深刻的怜悯相连。或许信仰只是给了人类一个契机，它让人变得圣洁，无尽的时间与无尽的罪恶终究一同毁灭，能得到救赎的只有那些圣洁的灵魂。布列松和陀思妥耶夫斯基一样，都相信“痛苦可能成为对不公正甚至是对罪行的一种赎罪，假如自己真正愿意接受痛苦的话。”囚困与自由，爱和信仰，电影就是他的牧师日记。

“你的观众既不是书本的读者，也不是戏剧的观众，既不是展览的看客，也不是音乐会的听众。你既不用满足文学情趣，也不用满足戏剧兴趣，既不用满足绘画特征，也不用满足音乐特色。”—— 布列松《电影书写札记》

— THE END —

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往期佳片

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1.文学改编与电影 《乡村牧师日记》（1951）在许多电影理论著作中都会被讨论到。巴赞的高度赞扬最广为人知。没有阅读过原著的情况下，我尚且不敢发表自己的其他看法，在此以自己的理解重新梳理一遍巴赞的思想。 布列松极度忠实原著，将书中的字句原封不动的放在电影里。从电影看到，其文本是相当文学化的：大量的心理与环境描写（旁白），考究的台词对白。前者是文本的主要部分，通过写日记的影像与牧师特写转换。后者虽然用电影化的手段，但这里的电影现实本体显然已经焕发着文学对白的特色。布列松通过两种方式，调度及旁白与对白过渡来实现。其中调度后面会讲到。 旁白的描述使得影像处于服务的地位，当人物突然开始讲话，虽然是对现实的搬演，却因这种衔接使得电影倾向的现实描摹变得并未服务于影像本体，而是文学本体。此时电影并未大于文学，而是处于平衡。 这里的平衡就是巴赞所说的布列松式改编所带来的辩证美学。由于极其忠实文学原作，电影影像需要受到限制采取单一方式来表现。但是这种牵制让影像将文学本体放大，甚至让原著中文字含义有了更深或更多的理解。这种相互作用的有机体，是电影与文学的混合体。 2.影像与调度 布列松的调度使得演员的走位具有舞台感，让现实有了一种人为创作。对白部分采用电影化的影像，而流畅弯曲的调度让对白与影像分离。 此外，布列松的调度是对现实审美的自觉表达。仔细观察，会发现摄影机随着人物运动推拉，当牧师向着门靠近一步，摄影机就向前推进一段变成近景或特写……按照视觉心理，牧师离门越近，我们就通过更特写的牧师来体验他的移动。当然摄影机有一部分运动是为了服务于文学性旁白，这里更多只拍摄牧师呆滞的面孔。 3.布列松的解构与重组 正因为布列松这种改编产生的辩证关系，他似乎把电影的文本与影像解构。正如电影主题上精神与物质的分离。布列松最让人惊叹的大概就是他能如此精确清晰地将电影解构再重组。《日记》正是他手法成熟的标志作品，而这对往后的文学性电影都产生了深刻影响。王家卫属其一。 1956年的《死囚越狱》同样有大量旁白，这时的布列松已经使得文学性文本更加适用于影像。布列松的客观性绝对脱离不了文学性的文本。只有主观的描述才能带来他客观的影像。而此时主观的描述在文学性文本下又成为了文学的客观。

1 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,280 改编自乔治·贝尔纳诺斯小说 From the Novel by GEORGES BERNANOS 3 00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:59,250 乡村牧师日记 DIARY OF A COUNTRY PRIEST 4 00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:04,610 编剧 导演 罗伯特·布列松 Screenplay, Adaptation and Direction by ROBERT BRESSON 5 00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,760 我不认为绝对忠实地记录下每天发生的事 I don't think I'm doing anything wrong in writing down daily, 6 00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:17,920 有任何过错 with absolute frankness, 7 00:02:18,130 --> 00:02:20,470 毕竟它们只是一段毫无神秘可言的生活中 the simplest and most insignificant secrets 8 00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:22,640 最简单也最无足轻重的秘密 of a life actually lacking any trace of mystery. 9 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:29,290 昂布里库尔 (法国加来省的一个小镇) Ambricourt 10 00:03:51,290 --> 00:03:53,950 我的教区 我的第一个教区 My parish. My first parish. 11 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,990 难道我必须出于职责的缘故 Must I believe that it's only for duty's sake 12 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,300 而无视自己虚弱的健康状况？ that I refuse to acknowledge my poor health? 13 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,500 我的自行车很有用 My bicycle is very useful, 14 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,070 但倘若我腹内空空 骑上坡路时就会头晕目眩 but I can't ride uphill on an empty stomach without feeling faint. 15 00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,560 我刻意不再吃肉或是蔬菜 I deliberately cut out meat and vegetables, 16 00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:35,230 实在饿得头昏 才拿点面包蘸着酒果腹 eating only small quantities of wine-soaked bread whenever I feel dizzy. 17 00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:37,930 我在酒里放许多糖 I add a lot of sugar to the wine. 18 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,370 面包会放个几天直到变硬才吃 I let my bread harden for several days. 19 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,370 多亏这个习惯 我得以脑子清醒 Thanks to this diet, my head is clear, 20 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,880 身体也感觉更强壮 and I feel much stronger. 21 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:55,950 法博加先生今早来到圣器收藏室 Old Fabregars came to the sacristy this morning. 22 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:09,260 暂且不论我祷告所需要的报酬 Aside from the fee for my time, 23 00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:11,340 天知道 法博加先生 God knows, Mr. Fabregars, 24 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:14,200 我想您是希望能使用免费的布料 I'd like you to have use of the draperies for free. 25 00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:16,200 我确实这么想 I should think so. 26 00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:20,040 不过是一堆碎布和补丁拼凑起来的东西 A lot of old moth-eaten rags held together by patches. 27 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,680 花得了多少钱？ What could they have cost? 28 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,790 蜡烛得花不少钱 Candles are very expensive. 29 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,380 真有你的 You do have a soft time of it. 30 00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:29,120 哪有剥削我们穷人的道理 There's no excuse for exploiting the poor. 31 00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:32,120 你可真是爱财如命啊 神父 You like your money easy, Father. 32 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:35,390 我们对所有人的收费都是一样的 We charge everyone the same. 33 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,460 在我看来事情很简单 As I see it, it's simple: 34 00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:40,470 我只求一件事 就是公平 I ask one thing. It's only just. 35 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,900 让我可怜的妻子体面地下葬 Let my poor old wife be buried decently. 36 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,010 按普通流程来 The usual service. 37 00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:49,730 所以我绝不会多付一个子 你明白了吗？ And for that I'll not pay a penny more, you hear? 38 00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:01,250 去拜访托西神父时 我依旧心绪不宁 I was still distraught when I went to see the priest of Torcy. 39 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:07,860 上帝 我真希望像他一样身体健康 心态平衡啊！ God, I wish I had his health and mental balance! 40 00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:18,100 你应该把那家伙赶出去 You should have shown him the door. 41 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:20,530 是的 把他赶出去 Yes, shown him the door. 42 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:23,970 说起来 我认识这个法博加 Besides, I know Fabregars. 43 00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:26,750 这老头很有钱 The old guy has plenty. 44 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,140 你们这些年轻的教士啊！ You young priests! 45 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,780 你们这些年轻人现在还有什么心志？ What have you young men got in your veins these days? 46 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,950 我那时代 人们培养的是教会人才 In my time they made men of the church, 47 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,220 教区的领袖 真正的首领！ leaders of parishes, real masters! 48 00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:42,830 现在教会派给了我们一些唱诗班小毛孩 Seminaries these days send us choirboys, 49 00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:45,420 小叫花子 总是自以为有多用功 young ragamuffins who think they're working harder than anyone 50 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,940 其实什么事都没做成 because they never manage to finish anything. 51 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,930 碰到一点点困难的征兆 At the first sign of difficulty, 52 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,300 他们就哭哭咧咧说教职和他们想的不一样 气馁不已 they say the priesthood isn't what they expected and drop everything. 53 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,430 我什么也不会放弃的 向你保证 I will not drop everything, I assure you. 54 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,580 除了消除罪恶以外 Besides exterminating the devil, 55 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,050 你另一个梦想就是变得受人爱戴 your other dream is to be loved for who you are. 56 00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,520 但一个真正的教士是永远不会讨人喜欢的 A true priest is never loved. 57 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,450 教会才不会管你是不是受人爱戴呢 我的孩子 The church doesn't care a whit whether you're loved, my son. 58 00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:08,250 要受人尊敬 让人们听话 Be respected, obeyed. 59 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,320 要全天候维护秩序 Keep order all day long, 60 00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:14,590 但心里要清楚第二天将又变得混乱无序 knowing full well disorder will win out tomorrow, 61 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,090 因为在这个可悲的世界上 黑夜会把白天所有的工作付诸流水 because in this sorry world, the night undoes the work of the day. 62 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:32,410 "全天候维护秩序" "Keep order all day long." 63 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,340 当我在削土豆做汤的时候 The priest of Torcy's words came back to me 64 00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:38,720 托西神父的话回荡在我耳边 as I peeled potatoes for my soup. 65 00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:43,210 我的助手从我身后过来了 The right-hand man came up from behind. 66 00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,860 好消息啊 神父 Good news, Father. 67 00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:52,090 是我能用上电灯了吗？ I'm getting electric light? 68 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,730 镇政委批准了你的请求 The council agreed to your request. 69 00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:59,100 他们会负担费用 为您通上电的 It will install electricity for you at its own expense. 70 00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:02,300 只是还需要走一些程序 There remain just the usual formalities. 71 00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:05,500 - 会等很久吗？ - 两到三个月 最多四个月 - Will it take long? - Two or three months. Four at the most. 72 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:10,010 我很想和他谈谈他的卡巴莱歌舞 I'd have loved to tell him a thing or two about his cabaret. 73 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,610 他每周日都举办一次舞会 He puts on a dance every Sunday 74 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,980 称之为"家庭舞会" and calls it "The Families' Ball" 75 00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:19,390 男孩子们以把女孩子灌醉为乐 where boys have fun getting young girls drunk. 76 00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:21,250 日安 神父 Good day, Father. 77 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,190 我没敢说 I didn't dare. 78 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:30,660 最简单的任务无疑最容易做 The simplest tasks are by no means the easiest. 79 00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,100 一个糟糕的夜晚 An awful night. 80 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,470 当我闭上眼睛 悲伤汹涌而来 As soon as I closed my eyes, sadness overwhelmed me. 81 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,710 这个早上我愿意做任何事以换来几句亲切同情的话 I'd have done anything this morning for a word of compassion or kindness. 82 00:09:38,170 --> 00:09:40,440 我非常期待教义问答课 I was expecting a lot from catechism class, 83 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,010 孩子们正为圣餐礼做准备 the children preparing for holy communion. 84 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:53,080 女孩子们使我充满希望 尤其是塞拉菲塔·杜孟谢尔 The girls had given me hope, especially Seraphita Dumouchel. 85 00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,620 圣餐礼是 Communion is 86 00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:58,850 是传……是传递…… to re - to receive - 87 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:03,600 你来回答？ How about you? 88 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,530 是用来传递…… It's to receive - 89 00:10:09,370 --> 00:10:11,960 通过圣餐圣礼传递耶稣的仁爱 Receive Jesus in the sacrament of the Eucharist. 90 00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,600 那么耶稣是怎么创立圣餐的呢？ And how did he establish the Eucharist? 91 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,540 为了创立圣餐 To establish the Eucharist, 92 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,190 耶稣掰开面包分给他的门徒们 说 Jesus broke bread and gave it to his disciples, saying, 93 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,990 "拿来吃吧 这是我的身体" "Take and eat. This is My body." 94 00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:37,460 他拿起酒杯说 "拿来喝吧 这是我的血 He took wine and said, "Take and drink. This is My blood. 95 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,230 "当如此做 以纪念我" Do this in remembrance of Me." 96 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,960 今天的课就到这里 塞拉菲塔 过来拿小红花 That will do for today's class. Seraphita, come forward for a good mark. 97 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,970 其他人可以走了 The others may go. 98 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,130 你期待自己的圣餐礼吗？ Are you anxious to make your communion? 99 00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:14,130 - 不 - 为什么不？ - No. - Why not? 100 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,900 它迟早会来的 It'll come soon enough. 101 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,200 你听得懂我的课 也听得很认真 Yet you understand me, and you listen so well. 102 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,370 因为您的眼睛漂亮极了 It's because you have such beautiful eyes. 103 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:35,990 她们合伙捉弄了我 They had plotted it together. 104 00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:39,580 为什么她们对我如此敌意？我对她们做错了什么吗？ But why such hostility? What had I done to them? 105 00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:47,160 露易丝小姐天天来参加弥撒 Miss Louise attends holy mass every day. 106 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,730 如果她不来 教堂就一个人都没有了 Without her, the church would be empty. 107 00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:54,640 她在庄园里担任家庭教师 这使我们之间隔阂不小 Her position as governess at the manor dictates a certain distance between us. 108 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,440 今天早上 她把脸埋入掌中 This morning she buried her face in her hands, 109 00:11:59,910 --> 00:12:02,710 而在祈祷时 我发现她有哭过的神情 but at the blessing, I could see she'd been crying. 110 00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,160 你一定感到非常孤独 You must feel very lonely. 111 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,060 夫人对我很好 Her ladyship is very kind, 112 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,900 但夏塔尔小姐喜欢羞辱我 对我呼来唤去的 but Miss Chantal enjoys humiliating me and treats me like a servant. 113 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,870 她是你唯一的学生吗？ Is she your only pupil? 114 00:12:55,970 --> 00:12:59,700 伯爵夫人有过一个儿子 但他死了 她很喜欢他 The countess had a son, but he died. She adored him. 115 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,470 庄园里没人再提起过他 No one at the manor ever mentions him. 116 00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:06,280 下周四我会去拜访伯爵的 I'll call on the count next Thursday. 117 00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:13,680 拜访庄园的事让我忧心忡忡 This visit to the manor has me quite worried. 118 00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,550 如果能留下好的第一印象 A good first impression could spell success for my plans 119 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:19,490 我的关于青年俱乐部和运动项目的计划想必就能顺利一些了 for a youth club and sports program. 120 00:13:19,690 --> 00:13:23,690 伯爵的影响力和财力能帮助我完成计划 The count's influence and wealth could help me to achieve them. 121 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,190 (我所需的那块)土地贫瘠 粮仓空空如也 The land is barren and the barn empty. 122 00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:58,860 确实如此 That's true. 123 00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:02,560 我不是要拒绝您 神父 但请给我点时间考虑 I'm not saying no, Father, but give me time to think it over. 124 00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:17,050 据说他对农民们很苛刻 他也算不上模范教徒 He's said to be hard on his farmers, and he's no model parishioner. 125 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:21,310 但为什么他一下子变成我如此亟需的 Why has he so quickly become the so desperately rare 126 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,360 朋友 同盟 合作伙伴？ friend, ally and companion? 127 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,810 佩格里奥太太会为您做准备 我已经告诉过她 Mrs. Pegriot will prepare it for you. I've let her know. 128 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:57,080 我没敢告诉他我的胃只能消化干面包 I didn't dare tell him my stomach only tolerates dry bread. 129 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,760 我无福消受他的炖兔子肉 I won't taste his rabbit stew, 130 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:02,800 再说 为此我还需要付给管家半天工钱 for which I'll have to pay the housekeeper a half day's wages. 131 00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:07,130 我会托一个唱诗班孩子把它带给费朗太太 她会高兴的 I could have a choirboy take it to old Mrs. Ferrant. She'd be delighted. 132 00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:14,600 神父 我赞同您的所有想法 Father, I approve of all your ideas. 133 00:15:14,710 --> 00:15:16,370 噢 我的想法 Oh, my ideas. 134 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,950 但我提醒您 最好不要付诸实践 But I warn you against putting them into practice. 135 00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,310 我不明白 I don't follow. 136 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:24,280 这里的人们有坏心思 The people here are malicious. 137 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,080 相信我 我知道的 Believe me, I know. 138 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:30,350 如果要我给点建议的话 If I may offer a bit of advice, 139 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:33,690 我想 别行事过急 well, don't be in too much of a hurry. 140 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:35,620 别一下子就露出您的手段来 Don't show your hand at once. 141 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,690 别急 不如静观他们的表现 Let them take the first step. There is no urgency. 142 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,600 但是这都是我发自内心想做的 It's just that these things are dear to my heart. 143 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,270 至于我的土地与粮仓 As for my land and my barn, 144 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,870 我不会让您失望 I wouldn't discourage you. 145 00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,400 还是晚些再谈 We'll discuss them later 146 00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:56,670 等我们共同研究出一些实际方案再说 when we get down to working out something practical together. 147 00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:04,080 您看上去气色并不好 You're not looking at all well. 148 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,820 您得多注意身体 You should take care of your health. 149 00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:09,120 我的胃十分敏感 My stomach is very temperamental. 150 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:19,510 先生 我有些迟疑是否该提及您的女儿 I hesitate, sir, to mention your daughter. 151 00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:22,070 我的女儿？怎么了？ My daughter? What is the matter? 152 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,200 我关心她的忧伤 I'm concerned about her sadness. 153 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:27,970 她的脸上始终闷闷不乐 Her face is far from cheerful. 154 00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:31,750 她的表情有种沉重与僵硬 There is something hard and rigid in her expression 155 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,610 很不符合她的年龄 far beyond her years. 156 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:36,620 夏塔尔忧伤？您一定是在开玩笑 Chantal sad? You must be joking. 157 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,560 会不会是有人无意中惹她生气了呢？ Could someone be rubbing her the wrong way? 158 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,660 或许她希望从露易丝小姐那儿得到更多理解…… Would a little more understanding from Miss Louise - 159 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,330 您疯了 You're mad. 160 00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:08,340 提到了露易丝小姐显然使伯爵非常不悦 The mention of Miss Louise's name seemed to upset him terribly. 161 00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,990 他脸色变僵 His face hardened. 162 00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:12,860 为什么？ Why? 163 00:17:20,270 --> 00:17:22,760 我很快作出决定 I seized the first opportunity to return to the manor... 164 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,370 要抓紧时机再访庄园 a decision I had arrived at quickly. 165 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,630 仆人很快就来应门 The servant was several moments in coming. 166 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:15,990 我很清楚会遇到伯爵 I was sure I'd meet the count, 167 00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:19,180 他通常星期四下午在家 who was usually at the manor Thursday afternoons. 168 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:23,330 而我反而见到了伯爵夫人 But I met the countess instead. 169 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,990 我的出现一定出乎她意料 I must have surprised her. 170 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,830 我打扰到您了吗？ Am I disturbing you? 171 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,030 一点也没有 Not at all. 172 00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:32,100 我知道她非常孤僻 I knew she was withdrawn 173 00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:35,330 一直将自己封闭在对死去的孩子的回忆里 and entirely absorbed in the memory of her dead child. 174 00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:47,820 她走了过来 对着一张椅子示意我坐下 She approached, motioning to a chair. 175 00:18:49,490 --> 00:18:52,790 看到您 我就想您来一定是有原因的 On seeing you, I felt you had come with some purpose in mind. 176 00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:55,190 仅仅为了拜访一下 None other than to pay a call. 177 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:58,090 这么说的话 您并不打算说出原因了 And that you also meant to keep it to yourself. 178 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,670 我向您保证不是那样的 I assure you. 179 00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:01,700 那么是我理解错了 I see I was wrong. 180 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,860 您的教民们可让您非常头疼啊 神父 Your parishioners worry you a good deal, Father. 181 00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:07,500 然而这只是个小小的教区 Yet it's such a small parish. 182 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,210 仅仅在地图上显得小而已 夫人 Small on the map, madam. 183 00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,810 你对被委以之任想必还觉得很陌生吧 It's a strange task you've been entrusted with. 184 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,810 是的 夫人 Yes, madam. 185 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:20,680 对于人生实际是什么 我们所知太少了 How little we know what a human life really is. 186 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,780 尽管来到时我感觉良好 Though I'd arrived feeling fine, 187 00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:26,860 我却突然发觉我无法跟上夫人的谈话 I found myself suddenly incapable of holding a conversation 188 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,990 也无法回答她的问题 or even answering questions. 189 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,560 来的时候我确实走得很快 It's true that I'd walked very quickly. 190 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:35,200 此前与抱恙的费朗太太交谈花掉我不少的时间 I'd lost a lot of time with the ill Mrs. Ferrant. 191 00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:38,500 神父！天呐 这是怎么了？ Father! Heavens, what's the matter? 192 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,240 您看起来非常痛苦 You seem to be suffering terribly. 193 00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:46,270 痛在哪里？ Where is the pain? 194 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,750 这里 我的胃深处 Here, in the pit of my stomach. 195 00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:53,410 不过没事的 真没事 But it's nothing. Nothing at all. 196 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,980 原谅我 夫人 我得离开了 Forgive me, madam, I must take my leave. 197 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,350 我病得十分严重 I'm seriously ill. 198 00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:27,580 六个月前 我第一次遭受这病痛的袭击 I was first truck by this disease six months ago. 199 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,720 我去见了德尔本德医生 I went to see Dr. Delbende. 200 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:40,130 他是个老头 据说非常冷酷 现在已经退休了 He's an old man, rumored to be brutal, who's now retired. 201 00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:43,390 托西神父告知他我会来 The priest of Torcy informed him I would be coming. 202 00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:47,770 他用厚实而并不干净的手仔细摸我的腹部 He palpated my stomach at length with thick and unclean hands. 203 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,640 他刚刚打猎回来 He'd just returned from hunting. 204 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,340 感觉不舒服的话 记得过来找我 When things get you down, come and pay me a call. 205 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,610 我不会告诉别人的 不过托西神父和我说起过你 I wouldn't say that to everyone, but the priest in Torcy has spoken of you. 206 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,740 我喜欢你的眼睛 And I like your eyes. 207 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,650 忠实的眼睛 Faithful eyes. 208 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,190 狗的眼睛 Dog's eyes. 209 00:21:06,290 --> 00:21:09,820 你 托西 还有我都是一类人 古怪的一类人 You and Torcy and I are of the same race, an odd race. 210 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,830 和这些健壮的人是同一类人 The idea that I belonged to the same race as these hefty men 211 00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,990 这种事我从来没想过 would never have occurred to me. 212 00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:19,700 - 哪类人？ - 坚忍的人 - What race? - The race that holds on. 213 00:21:19,910 --> 00:21:23,770 为什么坚忍？没人确切知道 And why does it hold on? No one quite knows. 214 00:21:24,310 --> 00:21:27,080 还在读书的时候 我为自己想出了一条座右铭： As a school boy I came up with a motto for myself: 215 00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,910 "勇敢地面对它" "Face up to it." 216 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,280 面对什么？我问你 Face up to what? I ask you. 217 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,980 不正义？ Injustice? 218 00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:38,460 我可不是要到四处喋喋不休谈正义的那种人 I'm not one to go around babbling about justice. 219 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,750 我从没奢求过正义会实现在我身上 I don't expect it for myself. 220 00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:44,000 我该向谁寻求正义？我不信上帝 From whom should I ask it? I don't believe in God. 221 00:21:44,730 --> 00:21:46,490 我缺乏经验 I'm not very experienced, 222 00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:50,970 但我总能辨认出那种揭示一颗深深受过伤的心灵的口吻 but I always recognize the tone that gives away a deeply wounded soul. 223 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,830 你状态欠佳 You're not up to much. 224 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,210 我很易看出 Just look at that. 225 00:21:57,940 --> 00:22:01,070 谁都能看出来你无法顿顿饱餐 Anyone can see you've not always had enough to eat. 226 00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:06,980 现在已经太晚了 Well, it's too late now. 227 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,130 还有那些酒精 怎么说？ And the alcohol, what about that? 228 00:22:14,290 --> 00:22:15,280 酒精？ Alcohol? 229 00:22:16,630 --> 00:22:19,000 当然不是指你喝的酒 Not what you've drunk, of course. 230 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,500 是说远在你出生之前 就被喝下的酒 What was drunk for you, long before you came into the world. 231 00:22:39,850 --> 00:22:41,790 塞拉菲塔让我很忧虑 Seraphita worries me a lot. 232 00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:43,880 有时候我想 她是不是讨厌我 I wonder sometimes if she hates me. 233 00:22:43,990 --> 00:22:46,320 她以超常的成熟折磨着我 She torments me with such exceptional maturity. 234 00:23:11,650 --> 00:23:13,240 早安 塞拉菲塔 Morning, Seraphita. 235 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,940 那天下午我归还了她的书包 然而她的家人待我非常粗鲁 I returned her book bag that afternoon. I was received very roughly. 236 00:24:08,110 --> 00:24:10,840 是的 我责备自己祈祷得如此少 如此拙劣 Yes, I scold myself for praying so little and so poorly. 237 00:24:11,810 --> 00:24:13,910 然而我有时间祈祷吗？ But do I have time to pray? 238 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,980 在去热思夫雷的路上 我遇到了托西神父 I met the priest from Torcy on the road to Gesvres. 239 00:24:21,190 --> 00:24:23,420 他搭上我送我回教区住所 He gave me a ride back to the rectory. 240 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,360 主教准是急缺神父 The bishop must be hard up for priests 241 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,650 才会把一个教区托付给你 to put a parish in your hands. 242 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:32,300 我可以给你大量建议 但那又有什么用？ I could burden you with advice, but what's the point? 243 00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:36,800 我以前认识一些解开了最难的难题的学生 I've known pupils who'd solve the toughest problems, 244 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,940 就是那个样子 几乎是在泄愤 just like that, out of spite. 245 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,440 我哪里做错了呢？ Where have I gone wrong? 246 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,230 你太大惊小怪了 You're too fussy. 247 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,000 就像只被关在瓶子里的大黄蜂 Just like a hornet in a bottle. 248 00:24:47,010 --> 00:24:49,380 但我认为你有一个祈祷者的灵魂 But I think you have the spirit of prayer. 249 00:24:50,650 --> 00:24:52,950 修道士可比我们粗鲁多了 Monks are more shrewd than us. 250 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:57,080 另外 你缺乏普通常识 Besides, you have no common sense. 251 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,380 你的伟大计划只是空谈 Your great schemes don't hold water. 252 00:24:59,990 --> 00:25:03,520 至于关于人的知识 说得越少越好 As for knowledge of men, the less said the better. 253 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:06,420 直面你的新教区吧 Face-to-face with your new parish, 254 00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:09,160 你太特立独行了 you cut an odd figure. 255 00:25:09,670 --> 00:25:11,140 所以呢？ And so? 256 00:25:13,170 --> 00:25:14,640 所以？没什么 继续干呗 So? Well, carry on. 257 00:25:14,740 --> 00:25:16,830 我还能说什么？ What else can I say? 258 00:25:29,860 --> 00:25:31,290 一个糟糕的夜晚 A bad night. 259 00:25:33,060 --> 00:25:36,290 凌晨三点 我提着灯笼到了教堂 At 3:00 a.m., I took my lantern and went to the church. 260 00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:50,540 我从没这么努力地祈祷过 I never endeavored to pray so much. 261 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,140 起先非常安静 平缓 At first quietly, calmly, 262 00:25:53,350 --> 00:25:57,310 接着 一股近乎绝望的意欲使我的心颤抖了起来 then with an almost desperate will that made my heart tremble. 263 00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:18,200 今早我收到了一封信 信纸很廉价 This morning I received a letter written on cheap paper, 264 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,400 没有署名 unsigned. 265 00:26:21,780 --> 00:26:24,710 "一位好心人建议您能提出调换教区 "A well -wisher advises you to seek a transfer to another parish. 266 00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:27,680 "越快越好 The sooner, the better. 267 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,980 "我为您感到抱歉 但我必须重复：赶紧走" I feel sorry for you, but I repeat: Get out." 268 00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:55,640 我发现了件奇怪的事 I made a strange discovery: 269 00:27:06,550 --> 00:27:08,890 信与这张纸笔迹一致 The handwriting was identical. 270 00:28:08,250 --> 00:28:10,310 又一个糟糕的晚上 Another terrible night. 271 00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:14,320 雨下得如此之大以致我不敢去教堂 It was raining so hard I didn't dare go to the church. 272 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,660 我无法祈祷 I couldn't pray. 273 00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:38,310 我非常清楚 想要祈祷的愿望就是一种祈祷 I know very well that the desire to pray is already prayer, 274 00:28:38,410 --> 00:28:40,810 而上帝并不会要求更多 and that God couldn't ask for more. 275 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,110 但这并非关乎职责的事 But it wasn't a question of duty. 276 00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:49,310 那时 我需要祈祷就像我的肺需要空气 At that moment, I needed prayer like I needed air in my lungs 277 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,980 或我的血需要氧气 or oxygen in my blood. 278 00:28:57,230 --> 00:28:59,990 在我身后已经不再是可以一下子抛弃掉的 Behind me, there was no longer familiar day-to-day life 279 00:29:00,670 --> 00:29:03,030 熟悉的日常生活了 which one can leave behind in one fell swoop. 280 00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:06,040 我的身后一无所有 Behind me there was nothing, 281 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,330 而在我前方则是一堵隔绝的墙 and before me was a wall. 282 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:10,770 一堵黑色的墙 A black wall. 283 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,310 突然间 我胸口里仿佛有东西碎掉了 Suddenly something seemed to shatter in my breast, 284 00:29:17,780 --> 00:29:20,720 我感到超过一小时的颤抖 and I was seized by a trembling that lasted over an hour. 285 00:29:31,630 --> 00:29:34,000 这会不会只是错觉呢？ What if it had only been an illusion? 286 00:29:34,130 --> 00:29:36,900 连圣贤们都知晓他们有失败 失落的时刻 Even the saints knew their hour of failure and loss. 287 00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:45,780 我在床脚边面地而躺 I lay face-down at the foot of my bed. 288 00:29:46,710 --> 00:29:49,710 我只想表达彻底的接受 I only wanted to show complete acceptance 289 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,380 和屈从 and surrender. 290 00:29:53,820 --> 00:29:57,220 同样的孤独 同样的沉寂 The same solitude, same silence, 291 00:29:58,690 --> 00:30:01,850 然而这次 再也没有希望能穿越这层障碍了 but this time, no hope in breaking through the obstacle. 292 00:30:02,430 --> 00:30:04,920 不 不存在障碍物 什么也没有 There's no obstacle. Nothing. 293 00:30:37,730 --> 00:30:39,560 上帝已经遗弃了我 God has left me. 294 00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:42,500 这点我已确信 Of this I'm sure. 295 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,070 我并没有松懈对待我的职责 I haven't slackened in my duties. 296 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,450 我的健康不可思议地恢复起来 这让我的工作变得轻松些 The incredible improvement in my health makes my work easier. 297 00:31:12,770 --> 00:31:14,700 德尔本德医生？你确定吗？ Dr. Delbende? Are you sure? 298 00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:18,130 德尔本德医生的尸体在巴赞伯爵的树林边缘被发现 Dr. Delbende was found at the edge of the woods near Bazan court, 299 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,600 冷冰冰的 头颅被轰飞 with his skull blown out, already cold. 300 00:31:20,770 --> 00:31:23,800 他滚进了一排树边的土沟深处 He rolled to the bottom of a tree-lined ditch. 301 00:31:24,010 --> 00:31:27,610 人们推测他的枪卡在枝桠间 It's thought his gun got caught in the branches 302 00:31:28,250 --> 00:31:30,380 走火了 and went off. 303 00:31:52,370 --> 00:31:55,830 托西神父在他朋友的尸体边守灵两夜 The priest from Torcy kept vigil for two nights by his friend's corpse. 304 00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:58,440 他显然看起来非常悲伤 He was visibly anguished. 305 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,780 有流言说德尔本德医生是自杀的 It was rumored that Dr. Delbende had committed suicide. 306 00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:32,500 你不认为德尔本德医生是…… You don't think Dr. Delbende might have - 307 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,740 他非常沮丧 He was very disheartened. 308 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,820 他从始至终都坚信患者们会回来找他看病 He believed up to the very end that his patients would return. 309 00:32:40,890 --> 00:32:45,290 他的年轻同事们四处流传说他对消毒药一窍不通 His younger colleagues spread the word that he knew nothing of antiseptics, 310 00:32:45,890 --> 00:32:47,450 于是他的患者们都离开了 and his patients fled. 311 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,890 当然是那些付费的患者 而不是其他的那些 The paying ones, of course. Not the others. 312 00:32:50,730 --> 00:32:54,190 但事实是 他已经失去信仰了 But the truth is he'd lost his faith 313 00:32:55,130 --> 00:32:57,690 而他又无法忍受没有信仰 and couldn't get over not believing. 314 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,330 我的身体状况并不适宜听他这番推心置腹的话 I was in no condition to listen to his confidences just then. 315 00:33:04,140 --> 00:33:07,080 它们如熔化的铅洒在一个伤口上 They were like molten lead poured on an open wound. 316 00:33:08,850 --> 00:33:10,820 我从未感到如此痛苦 I have never suffered so much 317 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:15,010 就算到死 我也不会再有这样的痛苦了 and likely never will again, even when I die. 318 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,750 如果他真的是自杀 If he really killed himself... 319 00:33:20,390 --> 00:33:21,380 你是否认为…… do you think - 320 00:33:21,490 --> 00:33:24,400 如果其他人要问我这个 If anyone else were to ask me that! 321 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,190 我会回答 "只有上帝才能裁决" God is the only judge. 322 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,460 德尔本德医生是个正直的人 Dr. Delbende was a just man, 323 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,030 而上帝就是正直的人的裁决者 and God is judge of the just. 324 00:33:33,370 --> 00:33:35,170 毕竟 这是一场交战 We're at war, after all. 325 00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:37,710 人总得面对敌人 One must face the enemy. 326 00:33:37,910 --> 00:33:41,240 正如他说的 "勇敢地面对它" 你记得他的座右铭吧？ "Face up to it," as he used to say. You remember his motto? 327 00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:24,750 不 我并没有失去信仰 No, I haven't lost faith. 328 00:34:26,060 --> 00:34:28,530 这一突然且残酷的考验 This abrupt and cruel ordeal 329 00:34:28,730 --> 00:34:31,890 也许震慑了我的理智和神经 may have upset my reason, my nerves. 330 00:34:32,730 --> 00:34:35,060 但我信仰仍存 我能感受得到 But my faith remains. I can feel it. 331 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,170 我站起身来 因为似乎明确地感觉到 I stood up with the feeling, 332 00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:52,110 听到有什么人在呼唤我 the certainty, that I had heard someone calling me. 333 00:34:58,890 --> 00:35:01,660 然而我知道并不会发现任何人 Yet I knew I wouldn't find anyone. 334 00:35:47,740 --> 00:35:49,500 你会信守诺言的吧？ You'll keep your word? 335 00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:52,410 年轻的女士 我会按我说的去做 Young lady, I will do what I promise. 336 00:36:02,790 --> 00:36:04,450 我被压服了 I was overwhelmed. 337 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,720 我从来不懂得人们 也永远不会懂得了 I know nothing of people and never will. 338 00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:21,510 我跑去托西神父那里 I ran to Torcy. 339 00:36:39,390 --> 00:36:41,490 神父不在家 Father is away. 340 00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:45,490 没有个十天八天他是不会回来的 He won't be back for eight or ten days at least. 341 00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:51,000 我失望极了 只好靠着墙 I was so disappointed. I had to lean against the wall. 342 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,400 你知道我不能在这儿接待你 You know I can't receive you here. 343 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,740 你承诺了要做的事 What you promised to do 344 00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:28,600 今天必须做到 must be done today. 345 00:37:29,340 --> 00:37:31,040 明天就太晚了 Tomorrow will be too late. 346 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,270 她已经知道我去过你的住所了 She knew I'd been to the rectory. 347 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,480 她简直狡猾得像只狐狸！ She is as sly as an animal! 348 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,750 我曾经信任过她 当你习惯了她的眼神 I trusted her. You get used to her eyes. 349 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,220 你会以为她是善良的 You imagine they're kind. 350 00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:49,120 现在我简直想挖出她那双眼睛 Now I'd like to tear out those eyes of hers 351 00:37:50,660 --> 00:37:53,190 用脚踩在它们上面 就像这样！ and stamp on them with my foot, like this! 352 00:37:53,930 --> 00:37:55,660 你不害怕上帝吗？ Have you no fear of God? 353 00:37:55,770 --> 00:37:57,530 我要杀了她！ I'll kill her! 354 00:37:57,700 --> 00:37:59,970 杀了她 或者杀了我自己！ Kill her or kill myself! 355 00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:02,970 你不能呆在这里 You mustn't stay here. 356 00:38:04,980 --> 00:38:07,810 只有一个地方 我才能听你说 There's only one place I can listen to you. 357 00:38:15,050 --> 00:38:16,680 跪下 On your knees. 358 00:38:20,090 --> 00:38:22,220 我不想忏悔 I don't want to confess. 359 00:38:24,830 --> 00:38:27,460 你很清楚 我所要的只是公正 You know quite well all I ask is justice. 360 00:38:30,940 --> 00:38:33,730 自从那个魔鬼般的女人来到我们家里…… Ever since that beastly woman came to the house - 361 00:38:33,940 --> 00:38:34,910 冷静 Stay calm. 362 00:38:35,110 --> 00:38:36,800 我很冷静 I am calm. 363 00:38:37,340 --> 00:38:39,900 我希望你能像我一样冷静 I wish you could be as calm as I am. 364 00:38:41,810 --> 00:38:43,750 昨晚我听到他们说的了 I heard them last night. 365 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:46,880 我在他们的窗户外 I was under their window. 366 00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:49,320 他们甚至都不拉上窗帘！ They don't even draw the curtains! 367 00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:53,490 我知道他们想方设法要摆脱我 I know they'll get rid of me somehow. 368 00:38:54,630 --> 00:38:56,720 下周二我就离开这里 I am to leave next Tuesday. 369 00:38:57,060 --> 00:39:00,400 妈妈认为这样非常恰当 也可行 Mama finds it very proper and practical. 370 00:39:01,530 --> 00:39:04,770 她居然说恰当！简直好笑 Proper! It's enough to make you laugh. 371 00:39:06,540 --> 00:39:09,410 但她对他们所有的话都毫不怀疑 But she believes anything they tell her, 372 00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:12,500 简直就像青蛙吞苍蝇 like a frog swallowing flies. 373 00:39:12,780 --> 00:39:14,770 不要这样谈论你的母亲 Don't speak of your mother that way. 374 00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:18,010 这样显得你并不爱她 You don't love her. 375 00:39:19,850 --> 00:39:22,010 你甚至…… - 继续说 我恨她！ You even - - Go on. I hate her! 376 00:39:22,250 --> 00:39:23,920 我一直以来都恨她 I've always hated her. 377 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,260 她是个傻子 还是个懦夫 She's a fool and a coward. 378 00:39:26,460 --> 00:39:28,790 从来不能捍卫自己的幸福 Never could stand up for her own happiness. 379 00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:31,890 你为什么用这个样子看我？ Why do you look at me like that? 380 00:39:32,930 --> 00:39:34,730 让我一个人静静 Leave me alone. 381 00:39:34,830 --> 00:39:36,890 如果你爱你父亲 If you loved your father, 382 00:39:37,270 --> 00:39:39,400 你就不会如此反抗他 you wouldn't be in this state of revolt. 383 00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:41,770 我已不再尊敬他了 I no longer respect him. 384 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:45,340 我恨他 我恨他们所有人 I think I hate him. I hate them all. 385 00:39:46,180 --> 00:39:48,580 我要报仇 我要逃跑 I'll get my revenge. I'll run away. 386 00:39:48,780 --> 00:39:51,250 我要羞辱自己 并且要让他知道 I'll disgrace myself and make sure he hears of it. 387 00:39:51,350 --> 00:39:53,250 然后他就会和我一样痛苦 Then he'll suffer as I have. 388 00:39:54,420 --> 00:39:56,980 我似乎能从她的唇间读出 It seemed I could read on her lips 389 00:39:57,190 --> 00:39:59,250 一些她并未明说的言辞 other words that went unspoken. 390 00:39:59,430 --> 00:40:01,150 你不能那么做 You'll do no such thing. 391 00:40:03,030 --> 00:40:05,430 我知道真正诱惑你的并不是那些事 I know that's not what's really tempting you. 392 00:40:08,730 --> 00:40:10,530 把信给我 Give me that letter. 393 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,240 你口袋里的那封信 The letter you have in your pocket. 394 00:40:17,380 --> 00:40:19,740 我想到什么就说什么 I said whatever came to me, 395 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:24,140 然而 很奇怪的是 我确信我是对的 and yet, strangely enough, I was sure I was right. 396 00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:26,280 把它给我 Give it to me. 397 00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:32,690 她并没有抗拒 把信交给了我 She didn't try to resist, and handed me the letter. 398 00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:48,630 你一定是魔鬼！ You must be the devil! 399 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,860 "致我的父亲" TO MY FATHER 400 00:41:14,770 --> 00:41:17,570 我没有读信 直接扔进了火中 I threw the letter into the fire, unread. 401 00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:22,160 任何一个神父面对她的痛苦都会颤抖不已 Hers was a distress no priest should approach without trembling. 402 00:41:23,540 --> 00:41:27,070 我认为我从她的眼中读到了自杀的想法 I thought I read suicide in her eyes. 403 00:41:28,410 --> 00:41:30,780 但也许那只是转瞬即逝的冲动 But perhaps it was only a fleeting impulse 404 00:41:30,980 --> 00:41:33,140 其狂热使它变得可疑 whose very fervor made it suspect. 405 00:41:33,820 --> 00:41:37,590 我只是一个可悲的 无用的神父 别无其他 I was nothing but a miserable, unworthy priest. 406 00:41:38,990 --> 00:41:42,550 我根本不该接待夏塔尔小姐 也不该听她说话 I shouldn't have received Miss Chantal or listened to her. 407 00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:45,160 当时 上帝是在惩罚我 God was punishing me. 408 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:48,420 我知道 一言既出驷马难追 I knew my words could not be taken back 409 00:41:48,630 --> 00:41:50,800 正因如此 我必须参与到事情结束 and that I had to see it to the end. 410 00:42:24,270 --> 00:42:26,800 我害怕她会做出些冲动的事 I fear she may do something rash. 411 00:42:28,340 --> 00:42:30,310 她才不会呢 That's the last thing she'd do. 412 00:42:30,510 --> 00:42:32,670 她怕死得很 She's terribly afraid of death. 413 00:42:34,180 --> 00:42:36,670 恰是这种人才会做出结束自己生命的事 Those are the ones who kill themselves. 414 00:42:38,420 --> 00:42:42,510 这肯定是你听来的 因为你自己不可能经历过这些 Someone must have told you that. It's outside your personal experience. 415 00:42:44,060 --> 00:42:45,960 你自己害怕死亡吗？ Are you yourself afraid of death? 416 00:42:49,930 --> 00:42:51,420 是的 夫人 Yes, madam. 417 00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:55,490 但是 让我诚恳地说： But let me be quite frank: 418 00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:00,040 赴死是困难的 To die is difficult. 419 00:43:01,910 --> 00:43:04,500 尤其是对于自尊心强的人来说 Especially for the proud. 420 00:43:06,780 --> 00:43:09,040 所以尽管我怕死 但比不上你们 I fear my death less than yours. 421 00:43:22,830 --> 00:43:25,090 我丈夫想让谁留在这里都可以 My husband can keep whomever he likes here. 422 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:28,700 另外 那个家庭教师没钱养活自己 Besides, the governess has no money. 423 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,460 或许他近来确实过于殷勤 过于亲近了 Perhaps he's been too attentive, too familiar... 424 00:43:34,740 --> 00:43:36,970 但我未尝其实并不在乎？ but suppose I don't care? 425 00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:41,080 这些年 无数的不忠与背叛 After putting up all these years with countless infidelities, 426 00:43:41,210 --> 00:43:43,580 荒唐的屈辱 我都忍受过了 suffering absurd humiliations, 427 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,050 我作为一个老女人 shall I now, as an old woman - 428 00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:48,620 已经顺从一切了 to which I'm well resigned - 429 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:51,520 现在叫我睁开眼睛 撕咬争斗 抓住机会 有何意义？ open my eyes, put up a fight, take chances? For what? 430 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:54,450 难道我该关心女儿的荣誉甚于关心自己的吗？ Shall I care more about my daughter's pride than my own? 431 00:43:54,630 --> 00:43:56,990 让她自己去忍受吧 就像我曾经那样 Let her put up with it as I have. 432 00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:58,820 夫人 请您谨慎 Madam, be careful. 433 00:43:59,030 --> 00:44:00,260 对什么谨慎？ Of what? 434 00:44:00,470 --> 00:44:02,870 对谁？对你？ Of whom? Of you? 435 00:44:02,970 --> 00:44:04,730 别夸大其词了 Let's not overdramatize. 436 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,840 这些想法不会左右我的行事 我的过去没有什么让我羞耻的 Such thoughts don't dictate my conduct. There's nothing in my past to blush about. 437 00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:11,340 如果罪恶让我们懂得羞耻 那么它就值得祝福 Blessed is sin if it teaches us shame. 438 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:15,140 你只会说教！难道你是在担心我吗？ Nothing but words! Are you trying to worry me? 439 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,740 你不会的 我头脑太清醒了 Well, you won't. I have too much sense. 440 00:44:28,630 --> 00:44:32,530 总之 我们都因自己的行为受裁决 我做错了什么吗？ Anyway, we'll be judged by our acts. What have I done wrong? 441 00:44:33,770 --> 00:44:36,170 你在把一个孩子赶出家门 You're throwing a child out of her home, 442 00:44:36,470 --> 00:44:38,730 并且你知道那是无法挽回的 and you know it's forever. 443 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,600 那只是我丈夫的意愿 It's my husband's wish. 444 00:44:40,710 --> 00:44:42,140 如果他错了…… If he's wrong - 445 00:44:42,340 --> 00:44:44,740 他相信她会回来的 He believes she'll come back. 446 00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,170 你这么认为吗？ And do you believe that? 447 00:44:52,380 --> 00:44:55,220 - 上帝会让你心碎的 - 让我心碎？ - God will break you. - Break me? 448 00:44:55,990 --> 00:44:57,750 祂已经让我心碎了 He has broken me already. 449 00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,930 祂带走了我的儿子 God took my son from me. 450 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,490 祂还能对我做什么？ What more can he do to me? 451 00:45:07,700 --> 00:45:09,260 我已经不再惧怕祂了 I no longer fear him. 452 00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:12,930 上帝只是暂时带走他 God took him away for a time, 453 00:45:13,370 --> 00:45:14,670 而你的铁石心肠…… but your hardness - 454 00:45:14,770 --> 00:45:15,870 住嘴 Silence. 455 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,140 不 我要继续说 No, I will not be silent. 456 00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,510 你如此冰冷的心肠 将使你永远都无法再接近他 The coldness of your heart may keep you from him forever. 457 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:26,950 这是亵渎！上帝从不复仇！ That's blasphemy! God does not take revenge! 458 00:45:27,050 --> 00:45:29,750 这不过是凡人们空洞的说辞 Those are mere human words, 459 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:32,020 只对你有意义 with no meaning except for you. 460 00:45:32,220 --> 00:45:34,280 你是在说我的儿子会恨我吗？ Are you saying my son might hate me? 461 00:45:34,930 --> 00:45:38,260 你们再也没有机会见到彼此 了解彼此了 You will no longer see or know each other. 462 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,490 没有任何罪恶会遭受这样的惩罚 No sin could make such a punishment just. 463 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,360 真太疯狂了！ This is madness! 464 00:45:42,470 --> 00:45:43,960 是疯子的妄想 A sick man's dreams. 463 00:45:44,170 --> 00:45:48,110 当我在这位蛮横的女人面前依靠身后的墙时 With my back against the wall before this imperious woman, 466 00:45:48,970 --> 00:45:52,380 我看起来简直像个罪人 正徒劳地为自己辩解 I looked like a guilty man trying in vain to justify himself. 467 00:45:53,580 --> 00:45:55,480 也许我就是那样的人 Perhaps that's what I was. 468 00:45:56,010 --> 00:45:58,810 你听到我说的话吗？听明白了吗？ Did you hear me? Did you understand? 469 00:46:00,820 --> 00:46:02,620 不 夫人 我没有听见 No, madam, I didn't hear. 470 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,420 坐下 你现在不适宜去任何地方 Sit down. You're in no condition to go anywhere. 471 00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:12,250 我说的是 这世界上没有任何罪恶会遭受这样的惩罚 I was saying that no sin on earth could make such punishment just. 472 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,430 没有任何东西会将我们同我们所爱的事物分开 Nothing can part us from those we have loved 473 00:46:15,630 --> 00:46:18,100 我们爱它们甚于生命 甚于得救本身 more than life, more than salvation itself. 474 00:46:18,340 --> 00:46:21,030 爱比死亡更强大 你的经文就是这么说的 (注：《旧约》雅歌8:6有云"爱情如死之坚强") Love is stronger than death. Your scriptures say so. 475 00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:23,670 我们并没有发明爱 We did not invent love. 476 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,940 爱有它自己的规则 It has its order, its law. 477 00:46:27,610 --> 00:46:29,410 上帝是它的主宰 God is its master. 478 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,480 祂并非爱的主宰 He is not the master of love. 479 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,750 祂就是爱本身 He is love itself. 480 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:39,620 如果您愿爱 就不要将自己置于爱触不到的地方 If you would love, don't place yourself beyond love's reach. 481 00:46:39,730 --> 00:46:42,590 真是疯了！你对我说话就像对待犯人一样 This is insane! You speak to me as you would to a criminal. 482 00:46:43,430 --> 00:46:45,120 难道我丈夫的不忠 Do my husband's infidelities 483 00:46:45,230 --> 00:46:48,500 我女儿的冷漠 叛逆 仇恨都不算什么吗？ and my daughter's indifference and rebellion and hatred count for nothing? 484 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,830 你尽管斥责这些都是我的过错好了！ You might as well say it's all my fault! 485 00:46:53,370 --> 00:46:56,670 无人能知道一个邪恶的念头会孕育出何种结果 No one knows what can come of an evil thought in the long run. 486 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,580 我们身上隐匿的罪恶会染污空气 从而毒害他人 Our hidden faults poison the air others breathe. 487 00:47:01,710 --> 00:47:04,810 要是抱着这种想法 你每一天都将熬不下去！ You'd never get through the day if you dwelt on such thoughts! 488 00:47:07,220 --> 00:47:08,850 我相信你说的 夫人 I believe that, madam. 489 00:47:10,290 --> 00:47:12,850 我相信 如果上帝用一个清晰理念告知我们 I believe if God gave us a clear idea 490 00:47:13,590 --> 00:47:17,260 我们在善恶之间是如何紧密相连的话 of how closely we are bound to each other in good and evil, 491 00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,030 我们的确是活不下去的 we truly could not live. 492 00:47:20,230 --> 00:47:22,960 请教你 这种隐匿的罪恶是什么？ Pray tell, what is this hidden sin? 493 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,570 你必须顺从 You must resign yourself. 494 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,940 打开你的心 Open your heart. 495 00:47:33,150 --> 00:47:35,200 顺从？顺从什么？ Resign myself? To what? 496 00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:39,510 难道我还不够顺从吗？ Am I not resigned? 497 00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:41,690 如果我不顺从的话 我早就死了！ If I weren't, I'd be dead. 498 00:47:42,290 --> 00:47:45,310 顺从？我已经过于顺从了 Resigned? I've been too much so. 499 00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,820 我真该自杀！ I should have killed myself! 500 00:47:48,590 --> 00:47:51,120 我说的不是这种顺从 That's not the resignation I mean. 501 00:47:51,330 --> 00:47:53,320 那又怎样？我去参加弥撒 Then what? I go to Mass. 502 00:47:53,430 --> 00:47:56,400 我本可以完全放弃敬拜活动的 实际上我考虑过 I could have given up worship altogether. Indeed, I thought of it. 503 00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:00,240 你斗胆如此对待上帝！ How dare you treat God like that! 504 00:48:00,340 --> 00:48:03,330 我曾平静地活着 我值得在平静中死去 I lived in peace, and I should have died in peace. 505 00:48:03,780 --> 00:48:05,400 那已经不可能了 That is no longer possible. 506 00:48:05,610 --> 00:48:07,580 上帝对我来说已经不再重要 God has ceased to matter to me. 507 00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:11,440 逼迫我承认我恨祂到底能让你得到什么好处 愚人？ What will you gain by making me admit I hate Him, you fool? 508 00:48:15,250 --> 00:48:17,310 你现在已经不恨祂了 You don't hate Him now. 509 00:48:17,820 --> 00:48:20,220 你和祂如今终于直面相对了 Now at last you are face-to-face. 510 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,850 祂 和你 He and you. 511 00:48:37,380 --> 00:48:40,240 - 你敢发誓…… - 你不能跟上帝讨价还价 - Do you swear - - You can't bargain with God. 512 00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:42,580 你必须无条件地屈服于祂 You must yield to Him unconditionally. 513 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,010 然而 我能向你保证 But I can assure you 514 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:49,090 并不存在两个国 一个属于生者 一个属于死者 there isn't one kingdom for the living and one for the dead. 515 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:53,290 只存在一个国 上帝的国 我们都在其中 There is only the kingdom of God, and we are within it. 516 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,220 在这之前一小段时间里 你知道我在想什么吗？ You know what I was wondering a moment ago? 517 00:48:57,830 --> 00:48:59,990 也许我不该告诉你 Perhaps I shouldn't tell you. 518 00:49:01,430 --> 00:49:03,160 我刚才对自己说 I was saying to myself, 519 00:49:03,300 --> 00:49:07,140 "如果在这世界或别的世界上 有上帝所无法掌控的地方 "If there were, in this world or the other, some place free from God, 520 00:49:07,770 --> 00:49:11,000 "就算在那里要每一秒钟经受一次死亡 永生永世 if it meant suffering a death every second, eternally, 521 00:49:12,110 --> 00:49:15,880 "我也愿意带着我的儿子到那里去 I'd carry my son to that place, 522 00:49:17,220 --> 00:49:18,840 "然后对上帝说： and I'd say to God: 523 00:49:19,050 --> 00:49:21,580 '尽祢所能 做出最坏的事来压垮我们吧！'" 'Do Your worst and crush us!'" 524 00:49:22,550 --> 00:49:23,850 这可怕吗？ Is that monstrous? 525 00:49:27,990 --> 00:49:29,890 你说不可怕是什么意思？ What do you mean, no? 526 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,860 因为我也一样…… Because I too... 527 00:49:34,270 --> 00:49:36,060 有时会这样想 have felt that way at times. 528 00:49:36,270 --> 00:49:38,860 德尔本德医生的形象出现在我面前 Dr. Delbende's image was before me. 529 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,640 他那衰老却坚定的目光正注视着我 His old, unflinching eyes were on me. 530 00:49:43,240 --> 00:49:45,400 那种我惧怕去读解的目光 Eyes which I feared to read. 531 00:49:49,510 --> 00:49:52,010 如果我们的上帝与异教徒或哲学家们的上帝一样 If our God were the god of the pagans or philosophers, 532 00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,880 尽管他也许会去最高的天堂中避难 though he might take refuge in the highest heavens, 533 00:49:55,820 --> 00:49:58,380 我们的苦难也会将他唤回人间 our misery would drag him down. 534 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,290 但你也知道 我们的上帝并没有躲藏 But as you know, ours did not wait. 535 00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:04,460 你能对祂施以拳脚 You might shake your fist at Him, 536 00:50:05,060 --> 00:50:06,790 向祂脸上吐痰 spit in His face, 537 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,560 用刑杖鞭打祂 whip Him with rods, 538 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,270 最后将祂钉在十字架上 and finally nail Him to a cross. 539 00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,790 那又有什么关系呢？ What would it matter? 540 00:50:13,910 --> 00:50:16,900 事已至此 - 我需要对祂说什么话？ It is already done. - What must I say to Him? 541 00:50:17,510 --> 00:50:18,480 说： Say: 542 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:21,570 愿祢的国降临 Thy kingdom come. 543 00:50:22,250 --> 00:50:24,110 愿祢的国降临 Thy kingdom come. 544 00:50:25,250 --> 00:50:27,180 愿祢的旨意得行 Thy will be done. 545 00:50:28,450 --> 00:50:29,480 我说不出口 I can't. 546 00:50:29,690 --> 00:50:32,050 仿佛我要再次失去他 It's as if l were losing him twice over. 547 00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:36,350 您所愿望降临的国 既是您的也是他的 The kingdom whose coming you have just wished for is yours and his. 548 00:50:41,630 --> 00:50:43,830 那么 就让这个国降临吧！ Then let that kingdom come! 549 00:50:53,010 --> 00:50:55,710 我想必是憎恨过上帝 所以做出过那种冒犯的事 I must have hated God to insult him as I did. 550 00:50:56,420 --> 00:50:59,250 我搞不好将要怀恨于心地走进坟墓 I might have died with that hatred on my heart. 551 00:51:07,130 --> 00:51:09,590 一个小时前 我的生活貌似还井然有序 An hour ago, my life seemed to me in order, 552 00:51:10,660 --> 00:51:12,650 所有事物都各就其位 each thing in its place. 553 00:51:14,070 --> 00:51:17,430 你却把它们尽数颠覆 You have left nothing standing. 554 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:20,460 将它献给上帝吧 以它的这副模样 Give it to God just as it is. 555 00:51:20,570 --> 00:51:22,840 你没有理解 You can't understand. 556 00:51:23,510 --> 00:51:25,570 你以为我会这么快就变得顺从！ You think I'm so quickly meek! 557 00:51:25,980 --> 00:51:27,880 自尊依然存在于我…… The pride still left in me - 558 00:51:27,980 --> 00:51:30,410 将你的自尊 连同所有一切 献给祂 Give Him your pride along with everything else. 559 00:51:30,750 --> 00:51:32,050 把一切献给祂 Give Him everything. 560 00:51:56,070 --> 00:51:57,670 你疯了 What madness. 561 00:51:58,410 --> 00:52:00,240 原谅我 Forgive me. 562 00:52:00,910 --> 00:52:02,810 上帝并不是酷刑者 God is no torturer. 563 00:52:03,580 --> 00:52:05,740 祂希望我们对自己慈悲 He wants us to be merciful with ourselves. 564 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:10,280 所作已作 我不能再做什么了 What's done is done. There's nothing I can do. 565 00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,630 愿和平与你同在 Peace be with you. 566 00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,310 我必须立马离开庄园 前往东巴勒家 I had to leave immediately thereafter for Dombasle 567 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,920 到家的时候已经很晚了 and arrived home very late. 568 00:52:54,630 --> 00:52:58,500 老园丁克洛维斯将一个伯爵夫人寄来的小包裹交给我 Clovis, the old gardener, gave me a parcel from the countess. 569 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,370 我知道里面是什么 I knew what was in it. 570 00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:04,570 那枚小小的项链坠子 照片已不在 链子也坏了 The small medallion, now empty, and its broken chain. 571 00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,210 还有一封信 There was a letter as well. 572 00:53:09,710 --> 00:53:12,310 "亲爱的神父 我对那个年轻的生命无望的回忆 "Dear Father, the hopeless memory of one young child 573 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,510 "将我与所有事物隔绝开来 饱尝孤独 had me isolated from everything in a terrifying solitude, 574 00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,480 "而现在看来 另外一个孩子已将我从中拯救出来 and it seems as if another child has drawn me out of it. 575 00:53:20,630 --> 00:53:23,820 "我希望称呼你为孩子没有让您觉得屈尊 I hope I don't hurt your pride by calling you a child. 576 00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:27,660 "你是上帝的孩子 愿上帝永远如此呵护你 You are one, and may God keep you so always. 577 00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,870 "我自问你是如何做到的 I ask myself how you did it, 578 00:53:34,240 --> 00:53:36,170 "或者说 我不再探问了 or, rather, I have ceased to ask. 579 00:53:36,270 --> 00:53:37,740 "怎么样都好 All is well. 580 00:53:38,580 --> 00:53:40,910 "我之前并不相信能做到顺从 I didn't believe resignation was possible, 581 00:53:41,710 --> 00:53:44,440 "而事实上我感受到的也并非顺从 and in fact it's not resignation that's come over me. 582 00:53:44,650 --> 00:53:47,580 "我不是顺从了 而是感到幸福 I'm not resigned - I'm happy. 583 00:53:49,550 --> 00:53:51,320 "我不再渴望任何东西 I desire nothing. 584 00:53

1.《乡村牧师日记》是不朽的电影名作。这部电影是一部心灵肖像，它勾勒了一个非常特殊的个人，一个非常独特的个人，一个我们在日常生活当中很难遇到的生命和心灵的个案。

2.一部伟大的电影，它的意义绝不仅仅止于电影史，也绝不仅仅止于电影人，它同时可以成为非常重要的文化史的文献，同时也可以成为对于文化，对于价值，对于心灵的巨大的贡献。

罗伯特·布列松的名片《乡村牧师日记》是电影史的一个时刻，是电影文化的一个时刻，某种程度上也是一个欧洲文化史的时刻。

《乡村牧师日记》对于我来说是不朽的电影名作，但是我必须预告大家说这是一部大闷片。我经常跟我的学生开玩笑说有这样一类电影，就是你在中间看的时候睡着了我不会怪你，但是我负责任地说如果你坚持把它看完了，你会有始料不及的收获。

关于这部电影，我们已经长久地约定俗成地使用《乡村牧师日记》这样一个名字，但是其实法国是一个天主教国家，法国历史上发生过对新教徒的著名的暴行，而在中文当中，我们通常用牧师来指称新教的神职人员，用神父来指称天主教的神职人员，所以我想，在这个故事当中，其实我们是在讨论一个年轻的神父而不是一个年轻的牧师，它有基督教内部的一个非常深刻的差异。

在人物的交互关系当中，围绕着我们年轻的主人公对于宗教，对于基督教，对于上帝，对于信仰之于日常生活，对于信仰自身的拯救力量的笃信、执着和周围的人们已经麻木不仁的，沉湎在日常生活的琐屑和日常生活的煎熬的冲突，这才是影片中的内在的张力点。

我们很难复述这个故事，如果一定要让我复述的话，我可能会说这部电影是一部心灵肖像，它勾勒了一个非常特殊的个人，一个非常独特的个人，一个我们在日常生活当中很难遇到的生命的和心灵的个案。

法国《电影手册》的主编，也是电影理论的一个最重要的理论家——安德烈·巴赞，他的一个说法似乎可以让我们去理解这部电影，也让我们去理解布列松以及他作为一个电影史时刻的意义。安德烈·巴赞的话是这样说的，他说：我们去观看布列松的时候，真正引发我们注意的不是心理学，而是一种存在的观相术。再展开一点说的话就是：布列松不是一个用心理学来作为展示人物、勾勒人物的手段的导演，相反，他是一个某种魔术般的，具有洞察力的，带有哲学和神学深度的一个“相面人”。

布列松成为一个电影史的时刻是在于他真正有效地使用电影这个表象艺术，电影这个形象艺术的外在呈现，让我们在观影的过程当中由衷地、真实地触摸到了一种不能付诸于形象的心灵事实：关于信仰，关于苦难，关于自我认知，关于价值，关于死亡，关于救赎。在这部影片当中，我想跟大家分享的第一个点就是关于他如何用一种存在的观相术，去创造出一种心灵史、心灵肖像、神学困惑或者神学问题的这样的一个艺术特征。

这部电影充满了浓郁的宗教意味，更具体地说不是一般意义的宗教，它是天主教。20世纪以来，天主教的信仰在整个风雨飘摇、备受创痛的欧洲文化当中岌岌可危，一个已经尽人皆知的说法叫做“上帝死了”。从德莱叶到伯格曼，他们的影片当中的主人公都充满了哀叹，这个哀叹据说也是当年基督耶稣在十字架上的哀叹，叫做“上帝你抛弃了我”。还有另外一种说法叫做“上帝沉默了”或者“上帝死了”，我们在一个没有神的世界上。

在这里我想表达的我自己的观点的一个基点是，由于欧美文化主导整个世界，成为世界的文化霸权太久了，以致我们经常不加思索地把基督教作为宗教的泛称，或者用关于基督教的知识和想象去覆盖所有关于宗教的知识和想象。

当我们看这部电影的时候，我们其实触摸到了影片当中的一个面向，相对来说也是比较表象层面的面向。就是说我们看到我们的主人公是作为一个自觉奉献的、近乎圣徒的这样一个形像，而完全忽略掉了他实际上也负载着1951年布列松的时代，也就是整个欧洲文明、欧洲文化、欧洲人的深刻的心灵危机。

在画面当中，主人公所形成的构图线条是倾斜的，是歪斜的。我们大家可能会知道，比如说黄金分割法所形成的几个构图点，或者我们在一个画面上画出一个井字，那四个交叉点所形成的稳定，或者我们想象对角线构图所形成的稳定构图，或者我们想象平行线所形成的构图，这些都是稳定构图。而我们的年轻主人公在画面当中不是任何一种稳定构图，所以他是歪斜的，他是不稳定的，他是在挣扎着试图去加固自己的信念，所以在这个意义上说，影片传达了非常法国文化，或者说欧洲文化的宗教的意味，甚至在某一个解读层面上，它勾勒了一个圣徒的心灵肖像。

从另外一个角度看，影片当中无所不在的，非常细腻的，但又是非常隐忍的透露出来的正是这样一场持续了很久的危机。我们知道这场危机到60年代的时候，将以社会风暴的方式在欧洲社会内部迸发出来。

这部电影作为布列松早期创作的最高峰，也作为他的以后的创作生涯的一个开启的著作，是因为在这部电影当中他尝试去证明，而且作为电影史的事实他成功地向我们证明了一件事，就是一部电影可以不凭借外在的戏剧性事件，一部电影可以以一个细腻的文学式的心灵勾勒来作为它的整个内容。

它再次以某种程度上极端的形式强化了电影与文学之间的更深刻的、更为内在的互动和牵系，而不是电影仅仅能够采取舞台戏剧式的结构形态。除了这样的一个走向文学性的道路之外，更重要的，也是不断被人们引证的一个评论是，在这部电影当中，它成功地向我们展现了人物、故事、场景、对话和电影语言、电影造型形式之间的平衡。在这部电影当中，它们是一个精致的、平衡的形态。

布列松成功地在这部电影的每一个场景、每一个角色当中负载了彼此矛盾的至少是双向，甚至是多向的意义表达，或者说是一种所谓内在的呈现和传递。如果从电影语言的角度说，在这部电影当中，它其实始终表现了入与出，或者说闯入与逃离，或者说接受与拒绝。它始终以这样一种反向的力，来形成每一个场景和每一个人物内心层次的紧张。

具体到电影语言当中，他非常成功地使用门和窗作为前景，作为画框中的画框，作为双重含义就是内与外，进入与离开。电影故事的主要情节是年轻的神父四次以上进入伯爵庄园，其中至少有三次，导演突出了庄园外面的铁门。每一次主人公的进入和出去同时伴随着他和伯爵、伯爵夫人、伯爵小姐之间非常微妙也非常痛苦的接触和冲突。

年轻的神父第一次出现在伯爵庄园内部的门前面的时候，导演使用一个从门里拍摄的镜头，那么玻璃窗及其窗棱作为前景，于是形成了一个里面对外面的观看，同时形成了一个里面的贵族的，准确的说是大地主的家庭和亲人之间的冷漠、相互隔绝的关系以及外面的这个闯入者试图进入这个关系并且改变这个关系的一种表述。

如果我们把主人公当做一个圣徒肖像来看的话，那么随着现实苦难的深重，他身体的痛苦的深重，他是越来越接近神。影片的最后一幕，今天看起来仍然是神来之笔，教堂垂下来的白色幕布，上面黑色的十字架以及画外旁白，在这个场景当中，旁白传递了主人公的最后一句话，叫做：“没什么，一切都是怜悯”。当他在痛苦中死亡的时候，他的表述是“一切都是怜悯”，应该说到这儿他已经达到了圣徒的高度。

正方形的小窗和嵌在窗中的主人公的肖像所形成的表述完全相反。在窗口的画框当中神父的肖像一次比一次后撤，他一次比一次更不能够充分地占有这个画框中的画框，他的形象一次比一次地更不能把握这个画框。与此相对，在不断地从内部观看外部，从外部观看内部的场景当中，导演进一步地借助所谓构图的元素，比如说男主人公处在心灵的痛苦，信仰的迷惘和身体的疾病中时，导演会不断地改变他在画面中形象的身体线条来形成的不同表述。例如前面我们所讲到过的那种歪斜的、倾斜的表述，这种倾斜构成了构图的不稳定性，同时借助这幅画面的另外一个视觉元素，旁边的十字架，形成一个对称的分切画面的构图效果。十字架自然永远是垂直水平的，而我们的主人公是不稳定的，而且是渐趋歪斜的，和他在教堂当中穿着圣服，始终要保持一个挺拔直立的形象形成了一个非常有趣的、多重的彼此拉扯的叙述。

神父第一次胃癌急剧发作，倒在泥泞的路上的那个场景，第一次出现了在电影当中为数不多的大全景，雾气和山路等元素形成了一种他陷于困境，陷于迷惘，完全被抛弃的那样一种表述，同时伴随着他一步步经由苦难走向圣徒的这样一个表述。然后，旁白说他看到了幻象，他看到了圣母，接下来说的是圣母手里牵着的那个孩子。我们知道在基督教当中那个孩子当然就是基督耶稣。可是接下来，真的有一个孩子牵住了他的手，但是是那个早熟的洛丽塔，是那个充满了似乎是与生俱来的魅惑和恶毒的少女。

影片中的一场重头戏是年轻的神父和伯爵夫人之间的那场长对话及其他们所发生的语辞之间的冲突，这是我们年轻的神父一生当中唯一可以欣慰的东西，就是他触动了伯爵夫人，某种程度上他感召了或者叫说服了伯爵夫人。

在这场戏当中，有一个在当时看起来非常新颖的调度方法，导演始终把伯爵夫人放在穿衣镜那一端，这首先形成了镜外人与镜内人之间的相互对照，形成了画面当中一个人物的双重形象，来向我们表明她内心的挣扎，她的纠结、她的冲突和意义的双重性。但另一边，穿衣镜放在壁炉之上，而壁炉的炉台摆满了小男孩的照片，向我们提示着她的失子之痛，同时向我们提示着她和圣母玛利亚之间的结构性的相像。

这样的错位在这部电影当中是贯穿始终的。它不仅仅是一个天主教文本，它也不仅仅是一个圣徒的心灵雕像，它同时可以说是一个濒临丧失信仰或者完全无信仰的现代人的精神危机历程，或者说这是一个精神危机历程最终摧毁了一个生命的故事。

布列松以及《乡村牧师日记》是我们深爱的苏联导演塔可夫斯基的最爱，塔可夫斯基的评价成为这部影片的评价当中的一个非常亮丽的光环。桀骜不驯的电影史颠覆者，也是电影史开启者的法国导演戈达尔也同样对这部影片有着极高的评价，他的最著名的说法是布列松之于法国电影相当于莫扎特之于奥地利音乐，相当于陀思妥耶夫斯基之于俄国文学。布列松由此向我们印证了一个事实，那就是一部伟大的电影，它的意义绝不仅仅止于电影史，也绝不仅仅止于电影人，它同时可以成为非常重要的对文化史的文献，同时也成为对文化，对于价值，对于心灵的巨大的贡献。

1.电影手册派

《电影手册》派，又称《电影手册》集团，创办于1951年，由安德烈·巴赞、罗·杜卡和雅克杜尼奥尔一瓦尔克洛兹任主编，其中巴赞的美学思想对杂志的面貌起着主导的影响。1955年起，一批赞同巴赞的理论观点的青年开始以《电影手册》为理论阵地，运用“作者论”方法，树立起新的评价标准，成为法国“新浪潮”电影的主将，主要人物有特吕弗、戈达尔、里维特、夏布罗尔、杜马契和谢勒尔等。

2.安德烈·巴赞

安德烈·巴赞是法国战后现代电影理论的一代宗师，创办《电影手册》杂志并担任主编，主要电影理论有“电影影像本体论”、“电影起源心理学”、“电影语言进化观”、“场面调度理论”等，被称为“法国电影新浪潮之父”。

第一次从地摊小贩那里看到这部电影的盗版光碟时，就被封皮上那张脸所吸引，在黑色长衫的衬托之下，苍白得让人揪心。头发有些凌乱，但挺立如针；一双黑大的眼睛，忧伤到让人掉泪，但也不全是忧伤，还透着一股掩饰不去的专注和真诚。直觉告诉我，这不会是一个寻常的病号。 从主人公第一句深沉绵长的独白—— “I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong in writing down daily, with absolute frankness, the simplest and insignificant secrets of a life actually lacking any trace of mystery”(我的生活毫无神秘可言。我以绝对的坦诚，将我生活中那些最简单、最微末的秘密记下来。我不觉得这样做有什么错。)—— 开始，我就预感到这片子的分量。最简单也许是最深刻的，最微末的也许是最紧迫的。 故事发生在战后法国一个僻陋的乡间，刚从神学院毕业的年轻牧师，来到这里传道。可他的到来，并没有得到当地人的欢迎。相反，猜忌、嘲笑、怨恨接踵而来。因为无意中瞥见了伯爵幽会保姆的身影，就被他们记恨在心。伯爵之女Louise那双如尖锥般怨毒的眼神，对他的劝诫嗤之以鼻。就连教理问答课上的那帮孩子，也要合谋来对他嘲弄一番。好心将小女孩Seraphita扔弃的书包送到她家里，却遭到其母的怀疑和冷遇。 如此残酷的现实，对于一个满怀热忱和理想的年轻人，该是多么大的打击。面对别人的无礼和不屑，他多数时候是默然的接受。只是在回到自己简陋的住所后，他才会记下自己的失望和困惑。透过那些文字，你能体会到他内心的纠结和挣扎。原本就身体虚弱的他，开始用饮食上的节制来惩戒自己的失职。发霉的面包、廉价的酒，成为他日常的充饥之物。他要用这耶稣的身与血，来警策自己，不可断了与主的联系。 影片的氛围整体上是沉闷冰冷的，但也有让人感觉振奋温暖的瞬间。比如牧师跟女伯爵的第二次对话，面对后者咄咄逼人的质问，缄默的牧师，口吻一下子变得雄辩十足，用一系列的警句予以应答： “Our hidden sins poison the air that others breathe.”(我们隐秘的罪恶污染了别人待吸的空气。”) “Blessed is sin if it teaches me shame”(罪恶，倘若能让我们从中感到羞耻，也是有福的。) 又比如, 在他晕倒后，为他掌灯引路的Seraphita、端来咖啡的无名妇人，尤其是当他躺在病榻之上朋友女友的的那番肺腑之言（I don’t want him to marry me, because I don’t want to be in the way），一定是让他感到了信仰复苏的可能，因为有爱的地方，上帝是不会缺席的；“上帝不是爱的主人，乃是爱本身”（God is not the master of love. God is love.） 有信仰的人，是有福的。无论受了多大的折磨与不幸，都不会愤然埋怨命运的不公，进而去否定自己的信仰。他的内心会被一种精神上的富足充盈着。“一切都是神恩（All is grace）”，这是牧师临终的遗言，道出了一切信仰者应有的姿态：谦卑与感激。

【其实这是我的一篇讲章。但是我觉得，这真的好像这部电影的注脚。所以我把它改一改，贴在这里。愿主耶稣基督的恩常在我们心里。】

特蕾莎嬷嬷在加尔各答孤儿院的墙上写了一首诗，叫做Do It Anyway。全文如下：

人们经常是不讲道理、没有逻辑和自我中心的
无论如何，你要原谅他们
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

如果你很友善，人们可能会说你自私、动机不良
无论如何，你还是要友善
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

当你成功了，就会有一些虚假的朋友
和一些真正的敌人
无论如何，你还是要取得成功
If you are successful, you will win some false friends
And some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

如果你是诚实坦率的，人们可能会欺骗你
无论如何，你还是要诚实和坦率
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

你多年来建造的东西
可能被人在一夜之间摧毁
无论如何，你还是要去建造
What you spend years building,
Someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

如果你找到了平静和幸福，他们可能会嫉妒你
无论如何，你还是要幸福
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

你今天做的善事，明天就会被人们忘记
无论如何，你还是要做善事
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Be good anyway.

即使你把最好的都给了这个世界
世界可能还是那么缺乏
无论如何，还是要把你最好的给这个世界
Give the world the best you have,
And it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

你看，说到底，这是你和上帝之间的事
无论如何，这从来都不是你与别人之间的事
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.

其实这首诗不是她写的，是另外一个人。不过她写了最后那句话。那句话很重要，甚至，我认为比上面所有的都重要。因为那些都是让我们咋舌的好道理，但我们却要问上一句：凭什么？

而嬷嬷给了我们答案：因为说到底，那是你和上帝之间的事。我想，使徒保罗会赞同嬷嬷的这句话，事实上，他自己的一生就是这样，无论遇到任何事，他只对上帝负责。

哥林多前书4：1－5说：“这样，人应该把我们看作基督的仆人，　神奥秘的事的管家。对于管家的要求，就是要他忠心。我被你们论断，或被人间法庭审判，我都认为是极小的事，连我自己也不论断自己。我虽然问心无愧，却不能因此自以为义，因为判断我的是主。所以时候还没有到，你们不要批评，直等到主来；他要照出黑暗中的隐情，显明人心里的动机。那时，各人要从　神那里得着称赞。”

保罗教导哥林多信徒要把他和亚波罗等人都看作基督的仆人、神奥秘事的管家，而他自己也正是这样看待自己的。保罗认为自己是听命于基督、单单对上帝负责的人。因此，他知道唯一对他有权柄的就是上帝，他所在乎的就是上帝对他的判断。而在第2节，他也明确地表达，上帝判断他的标准不是别的，而是他是否忠于神、忠于神所托付他的使命。上帝托付给他的是“神奥秘的事”，在林前2章里已经讲过，就是救恩的奥秘。上帝把救恩的真理托付给他，差遣他往外邦人那里去传福音，他所需要的就是坚持做这件事。因为保罗有这样的自知，所以哥林多信徒对他的论断、人间法庭对他的审判、他自己对自己的论断，他都认为是无关紧要的事。这里“论断”、“审判”、“判断”其实都是一个词，英文就是judge，审判的意思。说到底，他不是要对任何其他人、也不是要对自己负责，而是要对上帝负责。

对于保罗而言，基督台前的审判不仅激励他不顾世界的审判，而且也使他能够不把哥林多信徒的论断放在心上。这是多么难的事情啊！要知道，被敌对阵营的人攻击是很正常的事情，但是被自己阵营的弟兄攻击，那就真是令人伤心了。

从前，著名台湾作家李敖先生和他的第二任太太胡茵梦离婚，是因为他太太在一个国民党组织的李敖批斗会上作伪证，批斗李敖。李敖当天就召集记者宣布离婚，发布会上他散发了一个书面声名，第一条是这样写的：『罗马凯撒大帝在被朋友和敌人行刺的时候，他武功过人，拔剑抵抗。但他发现在攻击他的人群里有他心爱的布鲁塔斯的时候，他对布鲁塔斯说：“怎么还有你，布鲁塔斯？”于是他宁愿被杀，不再抵抗。』可见心爱之人的攻击有何等大的摧毁能力，令一代英雄凯撒放弃抵抗，也令自称是华语文学界五百年来最牛的李敖放弃抵抗，在胡茵梦的伪证下被判入狱。

对保罗而言，最能让他伤心的，恐怕就是他亲自带领信主、为之花费无数心血的这些信徒了。保罗自比是他们的父亲，可见其用情之深。然而哥林多信徒却开始对他有一些不公正的评价，甚至质疑他的使徒权，高举其他教会领袖来压过他。如果是我，该多么难过！

在《乡村牧师日记》（其实不是牧师，是神父）里出现的那个年轻神父，当他用全部的生命去给予，为着这个牧区尽他最大的努力的时候，别人对他怎么样？除了嘲笑，捉弄，冷漠，批评，最好的不过就是一声叹息。为什么叹息？也许是知道他做的是对的，却对的太傻。

我有一次去参加营会，刘同苏牧师讲道，我印象很深。其实他讲了很多东西我都忘了，印象很深的就是一件事。他讲到在美国牧会的一个经历。当时教会来了一个黑人妇女，丈夫酗酒、不供养她和两个儿子的生活，她忙着赚钱，大儿子青春期叛逆，小儿子没有人教育。于是刘牧师和师母就帮助这家人，每天接她小儿子放学，辅导他做功课直到她下班回来。之后又帮助她的大儿子上了大学，交了学费，还冒着风雪开车送他到学校去。之后又帮助她丈夫戒酒，回到家庭中。总之，付出了无数我难以想象的努力，之后这个黑人妇女却要离开教会。别人问她为什么，她说，这个教会的牧师不爱我。当时我听到这件事的时候简直惊呆了。如果她说的是，这个教会的弟兄姊妹不爱我，我还没有这么惊讶。她说的是牧师！而牧师一家几乎都在围着她转。

一个为着服侍摆上自己的人，总要经过这些伤痛。我知道你们也为别人伤害过，特别是那些你们很看重的人。他们或者是你敬重的长辈，或者是你疼爱的晚辈，或者是你一直以来认为是最贴心的同路人，所以他们对你们的影响也会特别大，伤的也会特别深。当我说这些话的时候，我真是心疼你们每一个人。但我还是要用保罗的话与大家共勉，他说到了主来的时候，“他要照出黑暗中的隐情，显明人心里的动机。那时，各人要从　神那里得着称赞。”

有很多事，别人不知道，但是上帝知道，这就够了。

爱因斯坦小时候不是交上去一件非常糟糕的手工作业而被老师嘲笑吗？老师说：我想世界上没有被这更糟糕的小板凳了。但是爱因斯坦却拿出另外两个小板凳，说：不，这两个比那个更糟。

是的，尽管也许有人批评我们是一群对上帝的国度毫无热心的人，有人觉得我们做的不好，有人对我们失望，有人给我们下结论说我们是这样或者那样的人……但是没关系，因为上帝知道关于另外那两个小板凳的故事，以及许多许多别人不知道的故事。上帝知道我们努力了，付出了，坚持了。让我们心满意足吧。

保罗相信，上帝判断他的标准是要他有忠心，而不是要他做的多完美，做的让所有人满意。所以他只要坚持跑完当跑的路、打完这美好的仗、守住所信的道，就必有公义的冠冕为他存留。我也相信，有一天当我们站在审判台前的时候，会像C.S.LEWIS在《狮子、女巫与魔法衣橱》的结尾所描写的那样——战争结束了，大君王得胜了，号角吹响了，每个孩子都坐在宝座上，荣耀的冠冕是属于他们的。与这盛大而华丽的颁奖礼相比，其他的一切都显得那么无关紧要。

所以——无论如何，这是我们和上帝之间的事。

当电影落幕的时候，那个十字架告诉我的，就是这件事。

胃與酒

這裡存在著一種斷裂：在影片的開頭，年輕的神父就講述了他不佳的健康狀態，以及由此導致的那可憐的只吃泡酒麵包的飲食，後來他也正是因為胃癌而死的。可是如果我們把這一點抽離出來考慮的話，則整個影片將被割裂為兩個不相幹的故事：一個是一位年輕的神父來到他的鄉村教區，在經歷了無數的挫折後，他仍為堅持自己的信念而痛苦地奮鬥著，最終死去；另一個則是一位本已患病的神父在經過了一段並不順利的工作之後，因病去世。
前者是個感人的故事，後者則平淡無奇，但由於影片從未告訴我們神父的個人努力與他的死亡之間有什麼必然的因果聯繫（神父簡樸的飲食是他一開始就選擇的，並宣稱是由胃病決定的，真是個奇怪的宣稱？），所以死亡之於他的工作和信仰，是一個外在的偶然性事件。然而，我們在影片的整體觀賞中卻會感覺死亡內在於他的精神之旅，並最終證明了他的信念與努力。
這是為什麼呢？
酒，同樣是個耐人尋味的問題。一開始酒似乎只是用來浸泡麵包的液體，可是如果我們考慮到神父的兩個重要盟友（或論敵？）——教士和醫生，都嚴肅地跟他討論過酒的問題，那麼我們就不該忽視它的重要性了。神父一開始宣稱酒可以讓他振奮精神，這似乎並沒有什麼錯，連教士也說喝點酒並沒有什麼。可是教士之所以反對神父喝酒，是認為後者因依賴於酒而忽視了對上帝的禱告；而醫生的話則更加奇怪，他宣稱神父因為一出生就承受的酒精而無可救藥（這裡可以有兩種解釋，一種是醫學上的，它或許意味著神父患有某種遺傳病，但是這一點在影片的其他地方無法得到證明；另一種則是象徵性的，它首先讓我們想到基督教的原罪理論，但醫生本人並不信教，這使得他的說法具有一種反諷效果）。
酒連結了神父的身體疾病與精神追求，它標誌著神父所選擇的一種生存方式，正是這種方式將神父帶入了與村民與他人的關係之中。

早熟的小女孩

如果說神父的挫折感主要來自於村民的不理解與敵意，那麼影片對二者關係的直接呈現如此之少，就頗有些奇怪了。在影片開頭部分為我們短暫地展現了一個吝嗇的老村民跟神父的衝突，之後村民問題就只是間接地被提及，它構成了神父苦惱的重要根源，卻未被直接展開。
在這種情況下，那個對神父態度奇怪的農村小女孩的角色設置，實在頗為巧妙。我們幾乎可以斷定她對神父頗懷好感，是早熟少女對年輕男子的那種暗中傾慕，這並不稀奇。然而她身處在對神父普遍抱有敵意的村民氛圍之中，所以她不得不懷疑、痛苦於她的傾慕之情，進而以一種外在的敵意來掩蓋它，來欺騙、懲罰自己。
然而她之所以如此，又正是因為她是村民中真正以純真的心靈貼近、理解神父的人（她一出場就流利地背出了聖餐的內容，其中的酒和麵包正命中了神父的食譜），所以她最終流著悔恨的淚救下了倒在野外的神父。
她是從始終作為一團陰影而存在的村民群體中湧現出來的一滴淚水，倒映出神父的痛苦與拯救。

伯爵夫人

影片主要正面呈現的，卻是神父如何涉入伯爵家事的情節，而其中的關鍵點在於神父與伯爵夫人之間的交鋒。
伯爵夫人長年沉浸在喪子之痛中，進而縱容了丈夫的新歡，孕育了女兒的仇恨，她將自己封鎖在對單一對象的愛戀中，而對外界一切漠不關心。神父決定打破這種封鎖。
神父近乎殘忍地告訴伯爵夫人，她保持著這種偏狹的愛並不能真正擁有她的兒子，反而將永遠地失去他，因為上帝是愛本身，只有將自己毫無保留地交給上帝，才能分享到愛。
然而這對於常人來說是極為危險的一躍，因為人們往往傾向於執著現實中自己所依戀的單一對象，怯於拋下這一可被直觀者而去擁抱那不可見的無限性。
在這種意義上，上帝是恐怖的。伯爵夫人猶豫著說出她的一個想法，即如果有一個地方是上帝所管不到的，她願意不顧一切地帶著她的孩子前往那裡，任憑上帝來報復和毀滅她們。
神父竟說，他也常常有這種想法。
然而神父堅定地說，天堂實際上是不存在的，存在的只是我們所生活的現世，拯救就在這裡。
伯爵夫人最終順從了。她死了。她女兒後來說她很安詳。
但我們更應該關心的是我們的神父，如果說伯爵夫人最終得到了安詳，那麼他卻仍處在痛苦之中。

疏離與進入

有一種說法是，影片中的神父始終處在與日常生活的疏離之中，通過這種疏離持存了神聖他者的在場。從影片的處理手法本身來說，這是非常正確的，然而如果把它套用在影片主題的呈現上，卻容易產生某種誤導。作為手法的疏離是表面性的，它反而導致神父內在地進入了與他人的關係之中，疏離如果真的存在的話，毋寧說是存在於神父與上帝的關係之中。
這時我們將看出神父與教士真正的分歧何在。
教士提倡禱告，提倡平靜地置自身於與上帝的直接關係之中，而對於外界的他人、對於村民，他認為只需要給予秩序，只需要他們懼怕自己，而非愛自己。教士顯然認為天堂是存在的，天堂作為一種中介，和平地為人與上帝的直面提供了場所，而教士正是掌管通往天堂之鑰匙的人。
然而神父認為天堂並不存在，存在的只是這個人們生活於其中的世界。
於是他不可避免地要進入自身與他人的關係之中，為他人的拯救承擔起責任，然而人與人之間的真相是可怕的，他因此陷入持續的痛苦。
他甚至無法禱告，他可以幫助他人進入與上帝的直接關係之中，將自身交給上帝，但他自己卻做不到。他注定要去承擔他人的痛苦和罪孽，他自身反而因責任的未完成而無法直面上帝。
於是只有死亡本身才能卸下他的責任，讓他得到拯救。
他告訴人們All is grace，然而對於他自己，唯有死亡才是grace。